Getting Out of a Rut
Feels like my body has been running on autopilot. The consequence of which life just seems to go by even faster. Losing the ability to relax and the feeling of self-control, over-indulging in endless feeds of videos, games and services that further drain the energy that I so crave to return. To a point where it feels more like an addiction, with my body now responding with physical discomforts and a relapse of anxiety that I have not felt for years.
But I think everything’s going to be alright.
Getting out of bed is a drag, my apartment might be a bit messy, work and relationships not going as well I’d like, procrastinated every possible task that needs to be done.. You know. Right now, I’m just surprised to find myself writing about it whilst grateful to be acknowledging that I’m in a rut.
I'm motivated to get out of this. At the same time I’m scared I’ll just go back to autopilot on Monday.
In February, I’ll become a father and I want to be there for my son.
Where do I go from here?