scatterhead

Here's my typical day. Log on, think about how I should start to go through my email. Notice I have some PRs to review. Start to work on one. I'm a slow reader, and it takes me a while to grok. I feel there's a better way, so I do some searching or fire up a term to provide actionable feedback. Meeting is starting.

After, I notice I have another in a couple hours i need to prepare for. Memory sucks, so preparing really helps me. While doing that, I noticed a couple messages have come in asking me for things. I don't have an immediate answer -- it takes time and effort to load up what they're talking about into RAM -- but eventually I point them in the right direction.

Second meeting. After that I have a block on my calendar for heads down work. But oops, I never finished that first PR review. And there's another PR review waiting after that one. Diving back into the first PR, I don't remember where I was. It takes time to get back into it. Heads down time went by without me having a second to sit and think.

During my next meeting, I try to answer some of the other messages that are waiting for my response.

Realize last week I promised to review someone's doc and never got to it. Oops. Apologize and dive in and manage to review about half of it.

End of the day, still have that other PR. Start working on it, but it's the end of the day and i have family commitments.

Realize I never cracked my email open. I wonder if there was anything important. Tomorrow i guess.

This is the hell I'm living, most days. I need to be contributing meaningfully (in terms of code or design) to my own projects. But the context switching is absolutely killing me. The worst part is that there are people around me who kick ass at it. Make it look easy.

I see these other threads about ADHD.. I don't think that's what I have. I can focus when I have the chance to. I am just slow at task switching, and my memory isn't great. But I don't know what to do about it.