niche

I recently joined a new department at my company. I linked up with a long standing member of the group (20+ years). He gave me an overview and one piece of advice: "Don't drink from the firehose right away, give yourself some time to learn, we say it takes a new employee 6-12 months to onboard"...What do you think of this statement / statements like this? Genuine...or an unnecessary standard?

For real: here is a little story, I work for a Fortune 500 botnet, I brought my work laptop to a friends house, VPN'd in from their house and now their network is absolutely fried (strange behavior, weird connections, etc)...even after replacing the router. Additionally, I am almost certain my iPhone is bugged, and these strange little saucers appeared on my telephone poles a few months ago. I am almost certain I have been "surveiled", join the club right? But seriously, how can I go about proving they are invading my privacy? How do I expose their malware?

Maybe this is too soon, hopefully we get some Apple people on this, is it 1-10 in integers? Or can it be finer?

Infinite blessings

Alright so here's the concept:

You take a mouse, gut it, put some ware on it that installs when you plug it in...

Then, you call up corporate IT fixers ("help desk") and be like "oh man my mouse is broken!"...they come, replace your mouse, and you hope they try and diagnose the problem with your "broken" mouse on their machine...