So I am in my mid 30s and started a new and interesting job about a year ago. A company I wouldn't have dreamed working for even a few years ago.
Now I am in a team with about 10 super eager software developers who constantly try to improve the code base and know the ins and outs of the libraries they are using. Some are very highly respected in their fields.
That's generally great, however I can't connect emotionally and mentally with them. I mean I wanted to work there, bought books and was so excited to dig deeper into this new topic.
Now I am one of two in the team who has a wife and kids. I chip away my tasks, do them fairly well, but everyone around me brings out new solutions and general improvements to the code base. This is a) intimating, b) I wouldn't even know how to start to catch up on them and c) I feel like I lost the lust to constantly keep up with new tools other bored developers wrote.
I feel like I lost this special "I am unstoppable" gene and don't actually want to tinker and hack in my free time anymore. Every time I want to help out with a project of a friend, and something is not working, I am thinking "why should I fix this stupid problem when I could read a book or just chill".
I feel generally less excited about programming and actually don't know what to do. I tried to apply for engineering manager positions, since this is what I did in the past year (although not on my resume) but I made people do the work for me somehow because I just couldn't bring my hands to write that piece of code needed.
Did this ever happen to some of you? What direction should I take?
