Before it happened, you remembered looking at your stomach. There was a twitch. An itch? Maybe a pain. You're not sure, but it grabs your attention. Next, your hands and feet are sweaty and start shaking. This is usually the feeling that overcomes you before getting sick, but you've never had the urge to take off your clothes like you do now. It's hot and they're keeping you from breathing, holding you down, and constricting you. Your mouth has never filled with saliva this way before. That tingling in your feet and hands have never spread up your body and to your spine. You can't swallow. It's in your head now. Static starts to take over your vision and hearing, tunneling your perception and fixing it to a point. The only thing that matters now is staying awake. No one is here to help you, so you have to stay awake. Don't close your eyes. It feels like you're being torn away from your consciousness. Each second multiplies the force that is pulling your mind into this chasm of fear. At this point you are certain that you are dying. Your thoughts fill with worries and regrets, and then pleading and begging. These thoughts only help confirm that something is wrong.
The doctor told me I had a panic attack. I was hoping for something a bit more concrete - something that could be fixed. Not a diagnosis that the knowledge of, worsens that very condition. Now I have this worry that it could happen again at any moment, and like before, I'll be by myself when it hits.
Have any of you experienced anything like this before? Did you go to the doctor? Has it happened more than once? Have you felt one coming on, then successfully prevented it? If so, how?
I realize this type of behavior isn't helpful for calming me down. I also realize that HN isn't a medical community. I'm posting this here because this is the most mature and considerate public forum I participate in.
Thanks for taking time to read.
