In this respect I feel Japan's culture is superior to ours in the USA. For example, I felt Mark Madoff's suicide was entirely appropriate, a final act that put the rest of his life in a more dignified context. Yet every article one reads about it treats the suicide as an additional disgrace, yet another horrible thing we can blame on Mark and his father.
I've been led to believe, (though I may be wrong, probably am) that it didn't really exist for the samurai either. In real life, they were elitist thugs and enforcers, and the mythology of bushido was added by old and bored samurai after Japanese society had more or less outlawed their violent ways.
Charming attitude.
I doubt that many suicidal people have anything much to atone for, more likely they had some horrible things done to them or are just wired in a way that makes them deeply unhappy.
I don't see suicide as brave or cowardly. Depending on the situation, suicide can be in an individual's best interest -- a terminally ill patient in extreme pain who chooses to undergo a painless physician-assisted suicide would be a good example.
Even beyond terminal illness, I imagine that there are some people who have either been through such massive trauma, or are wired so badly, that suicide is a better option than living in misery. Granted, depressed individuals may not be capable of making decisions in their long-term self-interest, but I still wouldn't condemn every suicide as a "bad" decision, let alone "cowardly", "shameful", or any of the other pejoratives that come up around this topic.
My understanding is that at least some of the people who commit suicide have done things beyond apology.
I mean, let's say a bridge collapses and kills tens of people, and it turns out this was due to the architect's gross negligence and/or incompetence. Are you saying he can simply apologize and work hard to make up for his mistake?
Also from a pragmatic point of view, the victims of the fraud didn't get their money back, so his death was basically pointless except for the revenge factor.
As a compliance officer at one point.
I think you may be confusing the son with the father.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconnor/2011/10/25/mark-mad...
Socrates died by his own hand for instance.
https://suite.io/arash-farzaneh/4sa32c7
I'm not saying suicide is good thing but there is a cultural perspective that is different from our own in the modern West.
Although I wanted to die, my fear of death and an eternity in the Lake of Fire was a far greater fear (Revelation 21:8). I'm not asking you to believe what I do. I'm just relaying what I went through, and the mindset I had at the time. As terrible as it was, that fear I had kept me alive.
Finally found a doctor who was able to diagnose what I had. Got treatment, suicidal thoughts went away, and am doing much better now.
I don't like to think back on that ordeal, but when I do meet people who are contemplating suicide, I absolutely can relate and empathize with the anguish they are experiencing.
Of course, to any person, his religion can't be wrong. (If it can, then it is at least in some sense not "his religion.") So to every strong believer, someone else's afterlife precautions are either superfluous or futile.
Of course, that doesn't mean the question should be taken lightly, but it seems that as long as there are different religions, people have to believe that other people's afterlife precautions are not correct.
-----
"Well I'm not sure I'm wiser but some things are clearer And it's getting clear that I'm not here for long. So what am I to do with my few minutes here in this place?" - Steven Curtis Chapman https://soundcloud.com/stevencurtischapman/a-little-more-tim...
Such a reasonable philosophy. /s
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=8120459
You can be afraid of the unknown and an uncertain fate without being sure of your damnation. Being sure of your own salvation is almost just as bad, especially when it's to the exclusion of anyone elses, when your good works and virtue might pale in comparison to others supposedly going to hell. It's also very arrogant, prideful and foolhardy, and a wellspring of hatred, condemnation, violence, war throughout history.
It mentions sorcerers, other versions of the bible mention practitioners of magic. So basically most people who read HN are condemned to the Lake of Fire.
Here's a snippet: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A13-...
My advice: get help. If that fails, get help from someone else, and keep searching until you find it. Avoid things that only exacerbate the problem. If you find it hard to go on, focus on getting through just today. When it's really bad, focus on getting though the next hour.
There is really, really good help out there. You just need to find it.
This last spring, there were at least three major animes revolving around the concept. "Nanana's burried treasure", "No Game No Life", and "Mekakucity actors" all have title characters who are Hikikomoris.
Hikikomori (shut-ins / NEETs) seem to be a real problem... real enough that they've entered Japanese Anime culture as a new character archetype.
I don't have much Japanese exposure outside of anime, so I'm not going to draw conclusions based on this alone. But I thought I'd give my perspective. Everything seems to tie together: an economic downturn that prevents many young people from getting a job, the uptick in shut-in culture, and finally an uptick in the suicide rate... (which seem to only cause more Hikikomoris as their loved ones disappear and make life more difficult for those left behind...)
The preoccupation with Hikikomori began in the 90s, when someone made the now infamous claim that there were roughly a million Hikikomori in Japan, setting off an alarm. That seems to have been a gross overestimate, but it put the term in the popular lexicon. More recent studies offer more conservative and more realistic estimates.
It just so happens that the popular view of Hikikomori is that they tend to be very focused on specific subcultures, so in particular they are commonly characterized as Otaku (although there would be Hikikomori who are not Otaku and most Otaku are not Hikikomoris, etc.). These characterizations (hikikomori as someone obsessed with a particular pasttime/lifestyl, and hikikomori as extreme NEET) have generally formed the basis for the Hikimori as it is sometimes portrayed in anime.
Most people just live boring normal middle class lives. I'm not denying that there is a problem, but I think it's not necessarily a statement about Japanese society as a whole. It's like if goth kids started slashing their wrists in large numbers. It might be a reflection of US society as a whole, or it might be a toxic subculture.
Is the anime-fan subculture really looked down on in the US? Here in Europe it seems to be growing a lot, part of a general status upgrade for "nerdy" interests.
How about airplanes? :)
Character archetypes don't have to be real... they have to be interesting. It's vastly more likely that a character in a new show who draws on a different character in an older show does so because that original character was popular than that it does so because society as a whole has moved closer to that character in personality.
42 examples on: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Hikikomori
Three title-character Hikikomoris in a single anime season? Especially sine most of the examples before 2009 are not title characters. IE: You get stuff like a specific client for one episode of xxxHolic in older animes... or Haruhi who insulted normal people by calling them Hikikomoris.
But in contrast to say, Spring 2014 animes, there are three title character Hikikomoris that play major roles in the anime.
The concept has always been in anime, but very rarely has it been used so often for main characters.
This article is phrased as if the entire Japanese culture is based on a disproportionate work-life balance to the extreme.
This is quite evident in how we treat the disabled when they are judged unable to work; serious disability in the US with no work history? Try living on the maximum $674 per month SSI payment(1), with no guaranteed section 8 housing (wait list is closed in many states for years at a time), and let's see how good of a life you can live, with no family support, trust funds, or anything like that.
That's not even taking into account the countless perennial homeless people that we let languish on the streets, because we'd never pay to have them accurately diagnosed, or directly allocate any funds so that they aren't living a life of abject poverty, filth, and neglect.
But of course suicide is still illegal for everyone, disability or not, abject poverty or not, likelihood of improved quality of life or not. We pay lip service to being a moral, caring society, saying you shouldn't ever kill yourself because there are other options, but then again we'd never break out our checkbook or trouble ourselves to ensure those options actually exist. Such societal realities would look despicable if they weren't so peachy by comparison to much much worse atrocities humans have committed throughout history.
There are a few standouts in Western Europe and elsewhere, where it seems people actually take issue with poverty, neglect, and misery, but that is far from common worldwide, where indifference and schadenfreude are the norm.
Sorry for the rant.
Edit: forgot the citation
(1) http://www.disabilitybenefitscenter.org/disability_benefits....
That kind of environment can spin out cases like hikikomori. You can see similar trends in the U.S. with respect to startups and overworking, to a smaller scale, usually in the form of "going off the grid."
Our hunting-gathering days are over. We used to chop down wood for the fire; now, we go to work, and push a button on the wall to stay warm.
To work is to live in modern society.
Another significant things about east-asian work ethics especially Japanese, is that the rank system is still in place when it comes to corporate structures. For the typical Japanese, that means in order to be a "good" employee, you need to show up to work before your boss arrives and leave after he leaves, even if you have nothing to work on. Furthermore, after-work drinking parties with the boss are considered slightly below mandatory, you can decline the invitation but your boss will get the impression that if you do, you aren't a "good employee".
Finally death from overwork here is real. The general strategy here is if you're failing, you aren't working long enough hours. That's different from the west because if you combine that with the notion that you are more of a servant than a creator or contributor, then you suddenly end up with zombies instead of employees doing meaningful, creative work. More work general works if feedback and criticism is accepted on all levels, here that isn't the case.
The nail in the coffin is this is pretty much accepted by everyone thus if you don't accept it, you are seen as the "weird" one. Individuality is often not a good thing here. That means your Japanese wife tending to the children at home will become incredibly disappointed with you if you don't "succeed" in this system. There is an expectation that you'll more or less be the cash cow for the family otherwise you're useless.
For example, I am a computer programmer, mid 30s, I have a wife and child and I work 20 hours a week, 25 absolute max. I've been working reduced hours for almost three years. I also work remotely so we spend most of our time in places like Thailand and Malaysia (warm, good food, low cost of living) although we will shortly be heading over to spend a few months in Europe.
And we are not the only ones. Most of our social circle is composed of similar people. If you go places like Chiang Mai in Thailand it is crawling with westerners carving out an existence that involves a high quality of life and personal control over how much and when they perform income generating activities.
Unfortunately if you are in the 9-5 routine yourself you will never meet any of us.
Well, billions of people still chop down wood for the fire. Including tons of people in the west -- in villages in eastern europe for example.
Many people would point to the Bushido culture when it comes to the aura of honor surrounding suicide. However, I think it may go even deeper.
From what I understand, Japan has never been a fully self-sufficient economy. The peasantry were always under some feudal rule and a lack of resources had been the norm. Tragic practises like carrying the elderly into the woods to be abandoned and die were not uncommon. The elderly knew when they had become more of a liability than an asset to the family and graciously accepted their fate.
[0] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubasute
[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ballad_of_Narayama_(1958_fi...
As I understand it, the Samurai live by the 7 virtues: - Rectitude - Courage - Benevolence - Respect - Honesty - Honour - Loyalty
I wouldn't be surprised if these virtues continue to play a huge role in today's society. That said, I'm also not sure how serious people live by these virtues.
This is extreme, however, it strikes me as a mild version of operating a steam locomotive. While undertaking this activity, my brain is occupied with 3 things: How's the water? How's the fire? Are there any hazards ahead? Repeat ad nauseum.
The water level is very critical. Too much, and you'll be piping water through the steam plumbing, which has the potential to be very destructive to the locomotive. Too little, and the structural integrity of the boiler could be compromised.
The fire is the life of the locomotive. Too much coal can snuff out the fire. Too little coal and you may run out of fuel. Too much fire wastes fuel and water; too little, and there will not be enough power to move the train. With the small models I operate, there is always a hand pump to put water into the boiler, but on a full size locomotive, it's possible to be in a situation where you don't have enough steam power to put more water into the boiler, and as I mentioned before, if the water level gets too low, the structural integrity of the boiler could be compromised.
A brain busy with the above tasks may fail to notice a train stalled on the tracks ahead, which could cause a collision.
I often think of operating a model steam locomotive as a state of nirvana. This is an exaggerated notion, but who could be troubled when the fire's too hot, the water's running low, see anything of concern up ahead? And by the way, how's that water level?
My point is that I think the monks might be on to something.
† which is incidentally the title of my endlessly upcoming blog (no relation to christianity nor Bioshock)
[0]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapture_(Buddhism)
[1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecstasy_(emotion)
[2]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altered_state_of_consciousness
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/18/world/asia/18japan.html?_r...
Genuine empathy can be both powerful and shocking.
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/big-issues/201005/suicide-ca...
"Mr. Chen would charge them like a dangerous man himself, wrestling, punching, kicking, doing whatever was necessary. 'I'm very confident in my physical strength,' he said. 'Since I have no psychological training, my job is to get that person off the bridge as quickly as possible.'"
http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/death-of-the-angel-of-the-gap-the-...
Apprentice monks are treated like slaves on a brutal plantation. They must follow orders and never say no. They sleep very little. They rise at four. Most of the time they eat only a small amount of rice and, occasionally, pickles (fresh vegetables and meat are forbidden). There is no heat, even though it can be very cold on the mountain, and the monks wear sandals and cotton robes.
I often wondered where Chuck Palahniuk got some of his ideas for Fight Club
As an exercise, the astute reader may wish to translate the paragraph beginning with "Apprentice monks" above into corresponding aspects of Valley/Startup culture.
Not really possible since these are centuries-old traditions in many monasteries.
Why would that be?
> Of the 147,763 suicides reported in 21 states, 27,062 (18.3%)
> were identified as having history of U.S. military service
> on death certificates
From that article:
> A recent analysis by News21, an investigative multimedia
> program for journalism students, found that the annual
> suicide rate among veterans is about 30 for every 100,000
> of the population, compared with the civilian rate of 14 per
> 100,000.
I've had combat explained to me like this. Imagine you're out in the world one day, grocery shopping, and a guy starts threatening you in the parking lot. In the normal world, you call the police or defend yourself if you need to, or get in your car and drive away. But your options are significantly limited. This problem or situation has other possible outcomes, but society has put artificial constraints the eliminates several effective resolutions.
A soldier in war has far fewer constraints. If some guy is bothering them, they can simply kill that person and resolve the issue. Or they can run them over in their armored vehicle, or bayonet them, or beat them with their rifle until they stop moving. An entire world of options opens up that allows you to simply resolve conflicts -- even if these resolutions are frowned upon in the normal society. Society sets up all these lines you can't cross, except in war you can cross all over them.
There's thousands of these kinds of issues in warfare, where normally impossible issues suddenly become trivial. Need to get from point A to point B? Steal a car. Need to get information from a guy? Beat him till he talks. Building in the way? Blow it up.
When a solider returns home, suddenly these societal restraints are locked back on them. You're suddenly told that you can't cross these lines anymore. But as anybody who's engaged in any kind of social line crossing can talk about, it's hard to roll that back once you've done it. As a result they feel trapped and disempowered. Having previously had literal power over life and death, you're suddenly trying to figure out how to fight with a soccer mom and her kids over a parking spot at the mall -- and you're trying to keep yourself blocked in by lines you now know aren't really there.
In combat you could just declare the minivan a threat and open up the 30 cal. Here you might have to go find another spot.
He had spent seven years sacrificing himself, driving himself to the
point of breakdown, nearly to death, trying to help these people,
and they didn’t care about him at all. What was the point? He knew
that if you were suicidal it was difficult to understand other
people’s problems, but still—he had been talking to some of these
people for years, and now here he was dying and nobody cared.
The hotline didn't ban them unless they became sexually aggressive towards female volunteers, I think because they helped keep the call numbers up, which was important for funding.
People with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder), or ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) might exaggerate feelings to get attention or something else from you. Though if you were on a suicide hotline, ASPD people would have no reason for calling if not genuinely in distress, and i doubt you were encountering that many NPD people.
Is it that hard to believe that some people might actually be commonly dealing with very strong emotions and impulses they can't control? It's really unfair of you to label others emotions as fake and attention-seeking, when you really have very little data to go on as to whether that's the case or not.
And above all "Borderline people are not manipulative!" I wish i could shout that from the mountaintops, but i can't and most people don't care to listen anyways. You're inaccurately and likely prematurely applying the wrong label, and should give even regulars and even people you think you know well the benefit of the doubt.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_dysregulation
Hours of browsing similar wikipedia articles to find out something but nothing describing exactly the issue only to come across an unrelated comment on hacker news unexpectedly that helps a ton.
what helped me finally move past this was repeatedly trying and failing to kill myself. always someone would come by, or i'd change my mind, at the last minute. i internalized the idea that it's not possible for a person to experience their own death. i see it in terms of the multiverse; if someone dies in my timeline, their world track has diverged so far from mine that we cannot meaningfully exchange information. i see things like war and the holocaust as being more akin to network partitions than destroyed hardware. the big bang was the network splitting for the first time, and portions of it have been trying to reconnect ever since.
i have no idea whether this is true or not, but it's .. being free from those thoughts immediately forces me to think "well if i'm stuck here, i have to make things work better for myself, since leaving apparently isn't an option."
sometimes i think i DID successfully kill myself - years ago, on my first attempt in 2006 - and i'm in a purgatory now.
i see stories of "life extension technology" being developed, and i think it's entirely plausible according to "mainstream science" that people my age will be able to live indefinitely. everyone else tells themselves "well its because of this new technology" and in the back of my mind, i keep thinking that i won't have a choice - i'll be alive forever because you can only die once.
i'm sure this all sounds ridiculous to anyone hearing it, but honestly being able to put aside suicidal thoughts, and focus on improving my life, has been really, extremely helpful. it sounds like this guy has found another way (i.e. not involving believing immortality is the default state, or that you are already dead) to make it happen.
interestingly enough, the first suicide attempt was in 2005. my favorite band at the time - because it was both optimistic and depressed at the same time - was 'the eels', fronted by the son of Hugh Everett, the physicist who developed the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics.
music and mathematics, poetry and prose. it comes whence it is headed, where it's going - no one knows.
I've had about 3 or 4 serious suicide attempts before, and a number of smaller ones. Even in the more serious attempts, the ones that landed me in critical care, necessitated blood transfusions, etc., in the end i'd always wake up. I'd black out, and then always wake up in the hospital, someone having found me in time by chance and such.
Based on sparse personal evidence, probably a bit of narcissism, possibly mild psychosis, and survivorship bias, i have concluded i am possibly immortal, at least to myself, and that life-ending attempts might be pointless, or at the very least i should be very careful in the future to limit injury in the case of my surviving.
Not sure where aging would fit into that cosmology, at least that which i have experienced for myself, or what would happen if i do become frail from old age. Old age and death for others could be explained by timelines diverging, but for myself i have no idea. I'm open to suggestions though! ;-) I still think everyone is real, just that you and everyone else exist in your own realities and timelines that converge and diverge from my own based on positive and negative personal affinities and orbits.
I don't know if you have experienced this for yourself, but my conclusions on personal realities, timelines, and affinities were partly based on qualitative experiences of convergence and divergence in my own universe. People already seemingly closely aligned to me enter my personal life and sphere by chance, and often only become more and more closely aligned the longer they stay, while they influence me as well. Divergent individuals exit just as randomly yet commonly, or stay at the periphery.
Synchronicity seems to be a strong signal of some kind, one which ebbs and flows, surrounding strong events and turning points like a force field.
Full voluntary disclosure necessitates me telling you i've been deemed ill and delusional in a clinical environment quite a few times, even though to me it was merely for making obvious connections and inferences establishment types seemed to deliberately neglect making, to preserve their own seeming sanity, sense of self, and sense of place.
I'm more measured and careful about how much i let ride on any non-grounded inferences and notions i have, and you might want to do the same (if you don't already!) It's important to validate common notions of reality in public or during interactions, and only deviate in ways that won't put you at odds with other people you wish to keep in your life, and also don't threaten your own safety, any standing you wish to preserve, legality, etc.
Psychologists often call this "double bookkeeping", but for those of us who still happen to believe judged-delusional personal notions still have a good chance of being true, it's simply a compromise and a necessary one to be able to navigate safely in the world.
A cautionary tale on the dangers of lack of "insight", as perceived from this timeline:
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/05/30/god-knows-where...
And the always entertaining, Was Jesus Bipolar?:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/anonymous/2013/05/was-jesus-bipola...
Diverging from expectations doesn't mean you don't have good ideas, or maybe know some deeper truths, though you should always be aware of how others do / are going to perceive you.
Age and genetics. One will suffice, if not both.
Plenty of people develop heart problems who eat well and keep active. Healthy living improves your odds considerably, but doesn't put you at zero risk.
Some cool reads: http://viewonbuddhism.org/4_noble_truths.html#2 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asceticism#Buddhism
If you want to help prevent suicide, rather than limiting methods and consigning many people to continued torment and suffering, how about advocate for improving some of the societal problems that contribute to people losing all hope?
Poverty is a huge driver, along with inadequate physical and mental healthcare. Homelessness, or being faced with it, is demoralizing and inspires hopelessness. Some of the hardest-to-remedy but most hard-hitting issues are always going to be domestic physical, sexual and emotional abuse and bullying.
How about we try to improve other peoples lives and quality-of-life rather than sealing off the exits and trapping them in it? If we are ever going to have a truly compassionate society we need legalized assisted euthanasia, available to everyone after a waiting period, confidential counseling and a finite period of treatment. We all need to be honest with ourselves, stop the judgements, and provide the same options that we would want available if we were in somebody else's shoes.
Not sure if cultural relativism here should take precedence and just say "ok it is their culture, who am I to judge it". On the other hand, it is kind of dreadful that this was so common, it got to be a cultural tradition.
There is something dreadful about it. You know "you bow before the elders", "take your shoes before you enter someone's home", "slaughter your children before you kill yourself".
I guess, like the article says, suicide is one of those "unknown knowns" that is ingrained in the social subconsciousness. They mention samurai and sepuku and how certain people were "praised" in a way for committing an honorable suicide.
At the same time, though, I think it's important to try and bring a holistic approach and an awareness that every culture probably has some such flaws. By "holistic approach" I mean remembering that "slaughter your children before you kill yourself" probably isn't a dangling horrifying imperative, it's probably an intersection of the problematic side of some values that have positive sides as well (for example, you could get it from "good mothers do not neglect the future of their children" + group identity over individual identity + a heavy personal accountability/status culture, all of which have some upsides as well as down). And of course, just like your favorite band, your favorite culture probably has something equally horrifying you accept (millions of abortions, automobile deaths as fact of life, elder neglect/abuse, money as status, whatever...).
A journalist from Slate did a piece recently pointing out some of the standouts, since The New Yorker and it's archives are temporarily free until October i think.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2014/07/22/new_yorker_on...
"The people of this town were all excited about the Rabbi’s visit for they knew that it was something rare and they looked forward to the holy man’s wisdom which they hoped would ease their suffering and their hard lives. So for weeks before he arrived, individuals reflected on what they would like to speak with him about, the questions they would like to pose and so on. They could hardly wait for the Rabbi to answer their urgent queries." Continued...http://basicindia.typepad.com/basicindia/2005/06/the_rabbis_...