In my experience, a lot of people who get into this state start self-sabotaging hard as a way of rejecting what feels, ironically, like losing control. Sudden freedom can feel foreign and lot like your world got forcibly taken away from you. I'm not surprised the author is turning down opportunities and breaking off with his girlfriend. It's a way of taking back control.
When this happened to me, I pivoted hard from getting satisfaction out of what I built to getting satisfaction out of developing people. Now I take great pride out of the careers I've nurtured...a lot more than what I've built, in most ways. I've heard others express similar ideas in different ways, like "I now enjoy making other people rich."
No matter what, I encourage the author to use this time to build connections instead of destroying them (real connections...not work or SF acquaintances). Something I did not read in this essay is how he grew closer to anyone (in fact, I read the opposite). No path out of this valley involves traveling alone.
One big piece of advice I have is to try to avoid letting others in your social network know exactly how successful you’ve been. Everyone starts wanting to pitch you their investment idea and it can burn down friendships when their ideas are bad. Being a VC to your friends is a path to sadness for everyone.
I think his problem is his identity (founder of Loom) suddenly disappeared.
Now he needs to develop a new identity.
This is especially difficult for single founders without kids (in the sense that people with spouse/kids already derive much of their identity from those 2 things).
Selling a company isn’t all that different from going through a divorce (in the sense that your identity needs to be completely rebuilt from scratch)
General comments:
- Most people who make a lot of money all at once blow it within seven years. Check out what happens to lottery winners, jocks, and rappers. As a rule of thumb, you can safely spend 4% of your net worth per year. Pay yourself some fixed amount each quarter.
- You don't have to get into complex investments. Half in some bond funds, half in some diversified stock funds will work out OK.
- Any investment where they call you is probably not very good.
Useful reading, although dated: "The Challenges of Wealth", by Domini et. al.
What to do with your life? No idea. What are you good at?
- I was a visiting scholar at Stanford for a while. But it was the "AI Winter" and not much was happening. Did robotics in the 1990s. Held patents on legged running on rough terrain, ragdoll physics. Ran a DARPA Grand Challenge team. Didn't really lead anywhere. Too early. Still programming. A metaverse client I'm writing in Rust is running on another screen.
- Horses have been good for me. Every day, I go out and spend time with a pushy alpha mare who keeps me in shape. "Riding is the only art which princes learn truly". Horses are not impressed by money. Neither are most riders.
- I've known a few ex-CEOs. One did a lot of reasonable little stuff but never did anything with much impact again. One founded a charity. Another was really into sailboats, and he just kept on with sailboats, crossing the Atlantic and such. He's lucky in having a wife who is also very into sailboats. One guy bought a nightclub, but it loses money year after year.
Great, so now I don't have to profitmax every single thing and can rely on my investments. That means I can study pottery, languages, learn about cars, guns, travel, spend time with my old mum, family, start a small business, whatever it is, without care for whether it contributes to the bottom line.
It kind of seems to me as if the poster here has some sort of savior complex - like they can't just be well off and enjoy it, they have to somehow change the world. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but at some point why not take time for you and yours?
I do however identify with the "it's not relatable" thing. If you live off of investments then suddenly you are, well, seperate, from people who can't, in a way that you can try to hide but it leaks out, you can't explain away being able to travel wherever whenever you want, etc.
There is diarrhea on my building, trash in the street, people needing medical help in the alley, and potholes in the street.
Just walk out your front door and start doing things.
My recent triumph was getting a building owner on my street to finally repair the hole in front of their building. Imagine what I could do with a backhoe.
Start small, think big. Help people who deserve it in real, honest (typically not through the computer) ways.
I'd much rather be less wealthy in that way to be rich in this way.
But at the same time... this seems rich coming from the dude who co-founded Loom. Calling his ex-coworkers NPCs and believing he's qualified to streamline the US government - all because he built a glorified screen recorder? Have some humility LOL.
You do what you were enjoying before, just now you don't need to get paid in money for it. May be you will get paid in fame, noble prize, smiles of people whose life you impact etc. The money you have can't buy those directly but only when you put effort.
I suppose "the author can go fuck himself" is a frowned-upon response on Hacker News
Like what an incredibly egocentric, condescending, deplorable way to talk about other human beings with their own rich inner lives, desires, needs, relationships, etc.
"No, they're just pre-programmed, unthinking bots following basic algorithms."
Bit amazing that wasn't even something he would consider.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
I'm not sure if Mary Schmich (who did write it) takes pride in her words being frequently credited to an esteemed writer, or if it rankles. Later Baz Luhrmann made the words into a #1.
Anyway, I agree. You don't need to know where to go next, just be curious and find things as you investigate. Sometimes a project will call to you. Don't be concerned if it hasn't yet.
Your project does not have to be a business. If you wanted to embark on a Dwarf Fortress kind of project you could happily work at it for the rest of your life without needing it to be a money making venture. Your Dwarf Fortress might be A database of the world's cheese or a castle built entirely from synthetic diamonds you produce one at a time from your own machine. It doesn't have to be easy or even possible to complete. I don't think you can decide on something and go do it. I think your thing will tell you when it is ready.
"What shall we ever do?" -- T.S. Eliot - The Wasteland
"What SHOULD we do?" -- Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat
"What should we do?" -- Shakespeare - Hamlet
When I'm bored I like to read poetry.
[0] https://www.npr.org/sections/thetorch/2016/09/08/493111873/a...
If the insights are correct, each cofounder netted ~$56M [1]
[0] https://vinay.sh
[1] https://www.cbinsights.com/research/loom-valuation-investor-...
She saw her bf through the difficult process of a developing a creative work, and eventually he completed it, won a prestigious reward... and he broke up with her.
He got invited to the White House because of the award, and I think missing out on that recognition and experience, where she could've attended as the partner, was symbolic for her.
It wasn't that he was upgrading, since she was an all-around catch, including probably being fabulous at whatever kind of cocktail party circles he entered.
It did seem like awkward timing, to decide that a relationship wasn't going to work out, after all.
(Don't worry, she's OK now: highly accomplished in her own career and creative side, and is also raising a family with a better match.)
Over time, I’ve just found things to do with my time. I try project Euler problems and I’m pretty interested in meteorology. The rest of the time, I just participate in things my kids are interested in or involved in, though it’s not as easy as when I was young.
Routine is key, and being honestly and wholeheartedly engaged is key. You gotta do the time, don’t let the time do you.
This worked for me anyways.
[1] for the record, I don't think that DOGE has good intentions. A lot of the tweets are nonsensical and I think just a rebranding for typical Republican cuts to health and retirement spending in exchange for more tax breaks at the top.
Talk to a bunch of people and realize what you want to support. If some of them need 10k to start a business just give it to them. Or, if you want some equity, put it in a non-profit that reinvest its earnings. Go to a film school, organize a contest and fund the movie of the most promising students.
I was never rich like the author, yet I once gave a bookbinder that I had hired to make a cool leather-bound book the starting capital he needed to make his own shop just because it turned out so well and he was so passionate about it. Looking back, it still feels great to have helped someone like this.
Humans need activities that produce meaningful outcomes, they don't need careers or work.
There are millions of people struggling to survive and you have amassed a pile of resources you’ve determined the best thing to do with is bury?
I felt similar when I finished my PhD. It was the singular “thing” in my life to the exclusion of all others. Luckily I was 150k in debt so I didn’t have the luxury of acting like a buffoon for months.
Man if I was rich I’d donate half, invest half, and go back to stocking a small family owned grocery store like when I was in high school. I really enjoyed that job.
i've seen this happen with people that have had much much smaller financial success in the industry..or even ones that haven't had any at all. you are either naturally inclined to identify with the culture or you trick yourselves into it so that you may belong.
<insert paragraph about social desire to be connected and how we construct an image of ourselves through others>
the culture of SV today is an amalgamation of Taylorist ideas, Randian objectivism, Utilitarianism etc etc. there is a lot of social capital to be earned by embodying the values of these currents. DOGE is a quintessential representation of this. it is not surprising at all that author had such a visceral reaction to it.
its important to emphasize that there have been very successful companies that have gone against the current (ie Apple), with an emphasis on craftsmanship, obsession with the process, taste-driven vs data-driven decisions and appreciation for things that are outside of profit maximization.
And that is your internal struggle my friend
> with all the mounting insecurities I had stuffed down over the past several years. I didn’t feel like I could work on them with her. So I broke things off after almost 2 years of unconditional love. It was extremely painful, but it was the right call. I needed to fully face myself.
You had something really special. You obviously miss her. I am not saying that anything will come from it, but why not try some therapy and see if you guys can work things out? What you had was harder to find than the dollar amounts in your blog post. A lot of people just don't find that at all.
All the best on whatever's next.
He also had a moment where he realized how he wanted to look (or be seen) like Elon, and how that's so cringe. Then he goes and works for Elon on the "extremely important" mission of DOGE.
It sounds like what he really wants is a mission where he's learning.
If you are reading the comments, IMO these giant grand gestures to find some spark of insight (climbing mountains, moving to Hawaii, etc.) aren’t going to accomplish what you want. Ground yourself - go volunteer at a homeless shelter. Get a hobby that is social that you have no innate skill for, don’t tell anyone about your money, make some friends while learning a low-pressure skill. Don’t do anything until after the first day you didn’t worry about what you were going to do. Recover from your burnout.
With that said I have lots of time on my hands, some work projects to focus on from time to time and currently single as of this summer. I live alone and a ton of my time is spent on apps connecting with people to meet up offline for adventure and adult fun in the hopes I will find my new person or new friend(s). It's a full time job but for me really worth finding my new person (or friends) to enjoy life with!
I definitely wouldnt be lost if I was completely set I'd have more resources to have many homes in different parts of the world, immerse myself in different cultures and enjoy my outdoor activities (skiing, hiking, kayaking, surfing, etc) with locals in different parts of the world (Iceland, Colorado, Miami, Hawaii, Australia) . As well turn my hobbies like songwriting and creating tech into more then a hobby and most importantly help people succeed!
I'd go further and suggest you take your time and resources to learn about your emotional state and regulate your emotions so you can help others do the same. Find what you want to be a student of from that calm, content emotional state and with less attachment on how to live your life you will likely find more clarity.
You can be a rich asshole.
And you can "just get by" but be the most loved grand-father the earth has borne.
This makes some intuitive sense to me. Money provides freedom, but freedom is not happiness. It's freedom to explore, which is quite scary in and of itself. But if your mindset is proper, your creativity and appetite for exploration will be unbounded.
Working on a particular goal to exclusion of all else sounds like quite a shock when that's no longer a driving priority.
Not a ringing endorsement for DOGE's accountability and record keeping practices.
Retirement
F-U money ("FIRE" in modern parlance I guess)
Save n dollars
It's all the same: too abstract. That you were able to discover it now with plenty of life left and plenty of resources to figure it out is worth more than the money.
Personally, I always try to keep enough saved to replace my computer all at once if it dies on me. If I lose that, it's hard to pursue my hobbies and interests while trying to figure out which parts of them I can sell without losing what made them interesting in the first place.
For what to do with it, I found it helpful to pick a hobby, any hobby, and pursue it for a year. You probably have a lot of these left. For me: One for music. One for photography. One for writing (fiction). One for writing (nonfiction). All the skills complement each other. I'm about to pull the trigger on buying a set of tools for recording podcasts and audiobooks to help deal with my significant speaking anxiety. The skills from the writing and music eras are especially helpful here!
This process started back in 2017 when I found myself with no steering or engine power on my way into a turn lane in the rain and fog. I'm glad your existential crisis didn't start with a near death experience!
I'd advise OP to strategize smartly, given they have enough money to last a simple and full life, save, invest, donate, and keep the transactions small; ie. not investing or donating all or a majority of wealth into one thing, instead of a little bit here and a little bit there, every now and then, gradually and slowly.
Taking it slower itself is a form of constraint. And together with keeping relationships and connections, minimizing the noise in life, and making it simpler towards enjoying the truer pleasures of their life, they can grow richer and live more luxuriously, not just in terms of wealth, but also in a safer, more secure and a cozier human experience.
The way this is written suggests there's still a little bit of self awareness left in him, but that's definitely on its way out the door. I wonder if there's a name for that phenomenon? If not, my suggestion is "Elon's Disease"
I hope if I ever reach that point that I have enough wisdom left to take my money and fuck off to an island somewhere.
Humans can be very happy working towards something. Not having a goal is an existential problem because we have no true purpose.
DOGE already processed a lot of applications and set up the signal chats etc.
This guy applied and right away heard back, because he has millions of dollars, good reputation for having a large exit, and he "reached out to some people and got in".
I simply applied in the way they asked -- DMming them on Twitter -- the very next day, submitting a link to my resume, background and cover letter that fully spells out how exactly I could help them in their mission. And they didn't even bother to visit the link, let alone respond. (I know because I put in logging.)
Until now, I didn't know that DOGE was even hiring people yet. Now thanks to his story, I believe they've already hired the main people back in November.
I am going to take a different approach in life. Thanks guy :)
Capital matters. Connections matter. Timing matters. Substance doesn't matter as much, sadly. Don't simply follow instructions. Get unfair advantages.
For what it's worth, here was my DOGE application link: https://magarshak.com/resume-cover-letter.php
- pick anything you don't know the answer to, try to find the answer (can also be personal, like how you behave in certain ways)
- pick something physical you do not have, instead of buying it, make it yourself
- pick some skill you don't have or would like to have, get proficient in it
[1]: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm#link2...
Like unless maybe you were going thru some massive event that was very clearly damaging to your relationship (drugs, abuse, etc), the optics of finding yourself to end a seemingly great relationship after selling a company for mega millions isn't going to jive with a lot of people. But the again I guess that's the point of the post, there is no point or purpose. Alright, taking off my judgement hat now.
Imagine being a whole ass person living a whole ass life and getting called an NPC by someone who barely took the time to get to know you
I don’t think that community/society advices itt are on point, because the author doesn’t express particular interest in socio things. Giving something up to feel good is not a bad thing, but it’s not a complete-able thing either. It’s still symptomatic despite being generally positive.
I don't suggest mere philanthropy, but structural change. (The nature of which I will not attempt to dictate; after all, identifying the problem doesn't mean I know a solution.)
He talks about people as NPCs.
Maybe the only real thing in life is good relationships with other people, odly enough.
Now you have all this money and nobody to share it with? Where are your friends and family?
Now that the whole world knows you’re rich you’ll never know if they really like ‘you’ or just your money.
Basically, take all the money, set it to the side in parked long-term investments, pay myself a basic low-middle class paycheck, and live on it.
Then start again. Swing the bat. Rinse, repeat until I'm ready to just relax and be happy staring at the clouds all day.
I know myself well enough that I understand that a huge part of my character is the struggle. Without it, I'd feel ungrounded - purposeless.
If I'm too comfortable, I'll just get lazy and may end up in a downward spiral.
If I have just enough to pay my bills, I'll keep working hard, but it'll be on things that interest me instead of working on someone else's idea.
Jokes aside, it is wild to read comments like these. I guess I do not know that feeling. I come from a working class, I did good for myself but then got affected by the entire layoff wave which kind of sent me back to stone ages.
You could travel and you could invest in new ideas something that has potential to make a real life changes in our future. You could become Batman!
But dm me if you really want to help someone out.
https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/crime/article27507...
Points deducted for still following through with musk complex
Big points deducted for
> NPC coworkers
I have no doubt that this guy is very intelligent and capable, but he's also a totally emotionally immature sucker. Guy's got a classic case of (Minecraft) Notch Syndrome.
He may yet find tranquility!
There are no more goals for you to achieve. Instead, focus on values you believe in and try to live those values every day. It will be an endless journey that will last the rest of your life. Values don’t need a reason or purpose, they just exist.
For example, if I became rich my values would simply be traveling the world and dressing fancy. Easy.
I say this as a member of this community, who are (generally speaking) relatively well paid folk in IT.
If you have a partner in life then you’re even better off again.
I don’t believe it’s actually that hard to reach FUM if you’ve got your fair share of luck, discipline, a partner, and the stable environment. For those who don’t have those things, I respect your position and wish you the best of luck — I’m sorry life is harder for you.
Edit: I’m aware you need insurance too, for health, life/death, accidental, etc. Again, you need a stable environment to make this work and be easier to achieve — the USA is not a safe nor stable environment.
That, and find some ways to leave the world better than you found it.
Was saddened to read this section in the post. You'd think that smart people would be able to see through Elon-ego-filled-bullshit; but I'm afraid many have been in that circle so long they've drunk the Kool-Aid. I'm not steeped in the wealthy SV community, but I can tell you that the few I've personally met or am acquainted with, make me want to run the other way.
On DOGE, I'm quite sure every Gov department could benefit from greater efficiency, no argument there. I'm also quite sure that it won't actually reduce the Gov budget all that much (just take a look at where most discretionary spending goes). And more importantly, would it make the lives of ordinary Americans (not rich Americans) better? Or would it just be some "achievement unlocked" type of thing. It's clear to me that Elon mostly cares about the latter.
Now if Elon were to cut our military budget in half, now __that__ could have a significant impact. Except that even if he wanted to, Congress (both parties) wouldn't let him: one does not kill sacred cows.
But you know what worries me more a lot more than government waste? The fact that the richest man in the world was able to pay $250M to sway an election. I'm not saying Elon bought the election, because maybe Trump would have won without Elon spending a dime -- but we'll never know, will we? If this were in some other country we'd be talking about "banana republic government corruption" and our "model" constitutional democracy, etc.
I think the FSF is the number one for me[0]. They invented the GPL, got the ball rolling, and were very innovative with the creation of the AGPL.
If anyone has extra money and reads this, please do your own research into the FSF and figure out if it makes sense. They take extreme positions when it comes to tech software, but they define a point on the tech spectrum that in turn defines the whole spectrum. I hope that last sentence makes sense.
[0]: https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/open-source-so...
Surprise! Politicians only claim to care about budget and spending matters when the opposite party is in control.
But I think most of us aren’t so naive as not to realize DOGE is just and only another way to troll Democrats, not actually a serious way to tackle our fiscal and budgetary problems. The past n Comptrollers of the United States have been banging away on that policy drum for as long as I’ve been paying attention to politics (beginning ca. 2000). Nobody cares. They write nice reports though.
However productive or enlightened you make yourself doesn't really matter, you eventually die. Network effects matter, help other people.
Thank you so much for sharing. It really makes me think what I’d do if I were in your shoes.
For me a big portion would be family, and helping it thrive. And putting my time and energy into some of the crazier ideas I have about how to help improve the world for the greatest number of people.
I wish you serendipity in trying to find yourself, deeply, and in discovering what you truly enjoy.
I’d also say don’t give up on love. The most important part of it all are the people you share your life with. So once you are in a good place, fill your life with them. Keep channels open with those that you know check that box, as you go through this journey of self-discovery that may require more time for yourself.
[0]: https://som.yale.edu/faculty-research/faculty-directory/aj-w...
You need adventure.
As others have said, you also need a hobby.
Consider how rapamycin was discovered, by scientists traveling to distant Rapa Nui and sampling soil. There are lots of truly wild places left on Earth -- most of Papua New Guinea, the northwestern Bolivian Amazon, the deep interior of the DRC, to name but few -- places where civilization has yet to touch. Go out there, discover new plant and insect species, and fingerprint plant and soil samples. You might find some very interesting and commercially-useful small molecules. But, more importantly, it would be a lot of fun.
You'd need a team, but that shouldn't be too difficult to assemble.
It's what I would do if I had absolute freedom.
Those chasing prestige, and programmed to chase prestige from childhood, often do not know that prestige is a form of separation. They think that once their respect with their peers rises they will feel more connected, or more connected with better people. This is all wrong – connection is fostered by humility. (Hiking large, easy mountains might look impressive yet it is not an antidote to loneliness and isolation.) Prestige is like a drug: attaining it often makes a person hungrier for more. Prestige, at its best, is a tool to accomplish good things, and nothing more.
I suggest the author find hyper-local challenges with direct and obvious impact... maybe volunteering with the mentally ill, or cooking for large groups, or tutoring in math/physics. Of course these aren't prestigious, and I sadly doubt the author will be interested (and hope to be proven wrong).
A note regarding "purpose": I believe purpose is a misleading solution. Most of us can conjure purpose – the key is to close the feedback loop by acting on it in a way that draws one closer to community.
(† Footnote: The author may think their wealth is a distinctive quirk of their predicament; it is not. The defining characteristic is freedom and space, and a lot of people are in this position, regardless of net-worth. I hope the author looks beyond other rich people to find solutions.)
I would have taken the 60 million salary and changed the lives of many every year. That would give me purpose.. but that's not for everyone.
Message me if you are interested.
Tiger21.com
I think the most exhilarating part is before you are about to beat the big boss (which in this case would be the offer for acquisition i suppose).
I believe you'll need to have goals that involve improving lives of those that most need it. Of course it is more complicated than just that - there will be disappointments, betrayal and all other stuff that comes with getting other people involved but the key is to do it based on purpose, with a calm head, clear goal and less on fumes of emotion to manage such pitfalls better. You can let that emotion out when you see the unprivileged child you mentored succeed - I would wager that that moment will outweigh practically any joy you could feel from solely self focused achievements.
- type 1 "employee thinking": focused on status, TC, consumption, vacation time, free time for hobbies
- type 2 "founder thinking": it's about how much value you create for other people
We (almost) all grow up and are formatted in type 1 - we look for a good "role" that brings wealth and status. The problem is when you have access to type 2 but are trapped in type 1, which seems to be the case here (the frame is about gaining money and status).
The funny thing is you can be incredibly rich, and a founder, and still think like an "employee" without ever being able to get out of it. Conversely you can be poor but think like a "founder" it's not so much about the money. In type 2, as you get richer, the scale of your impact grows and the value you can create gets bigger beyond your personal circumstances. Type 1 is not necessarily negative at all, but also can be a trap.
I’ve traveled a lot and opportunity is definitely not evenly distributed. There are millions of people who have potential and can’t afford silly things like books, school, tools necessary to succeed. If I wanted to give away a bunch or money I’d found work training programs for blue collar jobs in some major cities of developing nations. Provide training and tools for capable youngsters who might not otherwise have opportunities.
Although… this is not a tale about having too much money. It’s a tale about not knowing what to do next.
You need to recapture the satisfaction of work. Your professional identity was a big part of who you were and you’re falling apart without it. Unfortunately the old one is dead so you have to create a new one. The good news is there’s a foundation to build in.
Track down half a dozen people you’ve enjoyed working with before and start a business with them. I also recommend working mentorship into the mix.
I'd happily trade places with the OP, because there is so much I already do and would do even more with the free time.
Completely un-relatable. I have come across a sum of money once before, it was stressful initially but it gave us free time.
People saying money makes things harder, what a fucking stupid thing to say. Money makes EVERYTHING easier.
Learning for 1, I love learning. Being with family, and letting them have more free time. Starting an animal rescue shelter. Tinkering with retro-electronics. Hiking and walking entire countries and writing about it.
https://bemorewithless.com/the-story-of-the-mexican-fisherma...
As you don't have a conception of a global god on top of all the other you swing from one to another: finding myself, doing hard, things, robotics, climate change, girlfriend, pleasure, etc.
Those can all be good things, but they are not the top thing.
"You will have no other god beside me"
The central God is you idea of good, the things beyond your reach.
You keep your girlfriend, she become your wife and you have kids. You can climb montains but it doesn't need to be himalaya, etc. Maybe your big thing will still end up around physics Everything in it's place. In the proper amount.
Now if you loose one thing it's not the end of your world.
This keep you centered and avoid the crazy swings.
As we can see in this tale, his god was the startup or money. Once he had more than enought no motivation was left, he killed his god and had to find another one. This happen to a lot of people that reach their goal, instead of being happy they are emotionaly destroyed.
I hope this is clear and can help others.
I almost wrote young people, but any will do, if they are stuggling and are confused where you have clarity, you can be of immense help.
Maybe getting back with that amazing girlfriend wouldn't be bad idea, but that is beyond :) this post.
Like it's the same thing that boggles my mind with Elon. All that success and he seems to destroy it by making himself miserable begging for approval on Twitter.
This tone speaks to me, even if I have no desire to present myself in such a way. :)
> The immediate 2 weeks after leaving an intense 10-year journey, I did what any healthy person does and met with over 70 investors and founders in robotics. I had been learning about robotics for quite some time and was positive I wanted to throw myself into giving computers arms and legs.
FWIW, I see this a lot from normal-money people when they leave companies, even with shorter journeys. I've been that person, in more ways than one.
I also don't know what I should do with myself, but have considered doing an extra physics degree. Unlike you, my financial situation is currently only on the border of FIRE (and I've always been a low spender) and therefore not secure enough to actually drop off the labour market and into the second degree on a whim.
Not being American, the combination of you cringing about Musk and also finding the DOGE mission to be important is… surprising.
Regardless, good luck figuring yourself out.
Building on an analogy you used, you've let society dictate your "unattainable main quest", but then actually managed to attain it, losing your core sense of purpose in the process.
So pick a new unattainable main quest and internalize it, before proceeding with your life.
Easier said than done of course. You're fighting to replace a goal that was repeatedly forced into you from the early days of your conscious existence. How hard this will be comes down to your individual mental composition. It might be impossible. It might be easy and just require willful thought on your part. There are probably therapists that specialize in exactly this kind of situation.
Good luck!
This entire post is about having more money than you know what to do with. Very strange.
Whether it’s weightlifting, yoga, meditation, or chopping wood, I hope you can find your path to contentment OP!
Rest is all noise.
Sorry to be a bit harsh, but it's both hilarious and sad to me that people like this exist (people, who, no less, have the gall to call other human beings "NPC"s yet would be helpless and have no idea what to do in life were it not for the world telling them to follow the facile pursuit of extreme wealth—hah!) It's no wonder software is infested with technology that is, at best a hyper niche, lucky market fit that really doesn't need to exist and will not be remembered in a decade and at worst of products that are outright societal ills.
Well, such is life when we encourage people to be narcissistic, mindless, money-seeking drones instead of socially aware, emotionally intelligent, and caring human beings.
I'm happy you are finally on the way to reflection OP, but it really does depress me that there are so many "intelligent" people that seemingly don't bother to think about or question the motives of the socioeconomic system at large and whether or not the life the system is suggesting they pursue is really a meaningful one. Apparently for some it takes getting incredibly lucky (and hard work, let's not ignore that, but luck is a key component here too) and incredibly rich to even begin to start engaging in the level of self-reflection that scores of nameless barflies, poets, and yokels were capable of hundreds of years ago.
But I'm working on it anyway.
The only thing I want is to know my future is secure, have enough passive income/savings to be able to meditate.
I've seen for myself that thoughts just throw you off balance, and it's possible to be deeply contented just with the present moment. But the last thing I wanted to do was run a business or do work in that state.
I want to get loaded so I can just slip back into that state of contentment, then teach it. That's all.
But pursing experiences isn't the way to get there. I can see why someone would write a post like this.
Wealth is like a clicker game. As you work you earn money, like clicking the cookie to earn more cookies. Once you have enough surplus cookies, you can put them to work earning more cookies, and then put THOSE to work earning even more cookies, and so on. Eventually you're well beyond the point where clicking the cookie makes any damn sense, but you're still in the game, seeing how fast you can accumulate cookies and seeing how far you can go, just for the sake of seeing it.
Welcome to the life of the super rich. That's what investors do -- spend their time looking for ways to spend their money that will make them even more money, just to see how rich they can get and how fast they can get there.
If that doesn't sound like a fulfilling life, think of something challenging and beneficial you can do. Start a biotech startup. Look for ways to clean up oil spills. Invent a new battery. Build a toy for your kids with Arduino. You're smart, and in a position to do things many smart people can only dream of. Take advantage of it.
And if you only want to do something for 4 weeks at a time then do that. Where’s the despair coming from?
Also, this person loves capitalism so much because it worked for them. But then the way they say like it’s the greatest gift ever seems so out of touch.
Or whatever you want really. I recently contemplated what I would do if I won the lottery and arrived at that conclusion. Hopefully you arrive at yours.
It now sounds even more like a hobby club for Silicon Valley ultra-rich who have no interest to learn anything about how government works. Once they finish their beautiful “reinvented from first principles” decks of PDFs and Keynotes, they won’t get a second look from the elected politicians whose support they absolutely need to deliver any of this.
Or, as the meme would say, “men will literally pretend to singlehandedly save America from decades of deficits rather than go to therapy.”
Maybe satisfaction comes to those who can make a difference with others more directly. Author should consider volunteer work, or working for a non-profit. Maybe just be a regular worker, and not the boss for a change. Learn to listen and be OK with following orders for once.
I can dream, right?
I’ve got an idea: take some good economics courses so that you learn how government spending actually works.
As someone who has developed software for almost 20 years, and who is also staying on top of LLMs because I genuinely enjoy it, I really feel like I will make some good money soon.
Sorry for the vitriol, but I honestly lost all respect for OP after he mentioned joining DOGE. Working with oligarchs towards enacting austerity when you won't suffer from it makes me not care that much about how vacuous you feel your existence is.
Make more companies like that. Put money to doing good, not just being good.
If you get tired of living for others, you can live your life for yourself.
There are a lot of philanthropic pursuits that could really use an extra million or two per year (LEVF would be my top pick), which is less than you'd expect to make from index funds returns.
I think even with a lot less one can simply let go and retire. But lots of ducks need to get in row.
Personal health Family situation Where you are Where you came from Hobbies & interests Good spouse
This also scares me as someone who's been saving and investing for that purpose and I would not want to go through it. I have few ideas (similar to his with robotics) or different ventures, but it still scares me.
But I get to write code, Every. Single. Day. Code that I want to write, the way that I want to work, at the Quality level that I want to deliver.
That's heaven.
I would not be here, if I had been able to find work, after leaving my last company at 55. So, I guess being frozen out of the tech industry is maybe the best thing that has happened to me. It was the kind of thing I wouldn't have known was possible, until I was forced into it.
But I wouldn't turn down a few extra mil. It's just that I don't think the fox is worth the chase.
Write Wikipedia articles. Volunteer at a charity. Go and do a PhD in whatever field takes your fancy. Take up auto racing. Learn an instrument. Have children.
The writer is in the incredibly fortunate position of being able to do whatever he damn well pleases, at an age where he is still physically able to do whatever he damn well pleases.
I find it very difficult to sympathise.
Deciding whether to explore challenges solo versus as part of a team is a crucial differentiator.
It won’t fix you - but it will give you the time and resources to figure out something that might.
The author needs to find himself a good counselor and get to work on himself.
Get it managed, out of cash, and get it planned for and pay yourself your old salary with a small raise for a bit. Be sober for a while. Avoid sex workers. Rent a supercar before buying one. Use a personal trainer to get fit. your job is "managing investments" to anyone who asks. Luxury is mostly symbolic. Family and friends are both free and irreplacable. Privacy and mobility are usually worth it.
It's not something you are, it's just something you manage now. There's a great quote from the BlueBottle coffee guys, "money in hand, not in heart" or somesuch. How to extract value from a big pile of cash is a challenging question that really smart wealth managers get paid stupidly well to solve, and there's zero reason why you should think you can do it without investing in some education. Take some time to grieve the attachments it has evaporated.
You're just you with a new and peculiar set of problems. Good luck.
(I don't have that money, but I've known it most of my life, and within my means I've just learned to do the things that people who can have anything in the world choose to do. they're pretty good.)
Stop. Breathe. Do something to relax.
You very clearly need it, even if only to center yourself long enough to not throw yourself into the very next thing you see.
It's almost as if you can either have wealth/comfort or purpose/fulfillment, but it's vanishingly rare to have both at the same time.
This is it, the happy ending. Do things for the sake of doing them.
My 2 cents: I would devote the remainder of my life to solving problems that the current system is unoptimized for. Things that seem intractable like the housing crisis, homelessness, climate change, food insecurity. Like this guy who is trying to re-green a part of the Sonoran Desert after getting a windfall from helping the El Salvadoran government switch to Bitcoin [1].
I think ultimately the author is going to have to find a very difficult task/goal that will require similar if not greater effort compared to starting Loom.
Loom was your life, clearly. It meant a huge amount to you. You cared about it and the work you did there, so you... sold it to a giant multibillion dollar corporation and let them absorb everything special about it so they could make another buck.
Was there just no way to continue on without being acquired? If there wasn't, then what was the value in what you were building? Did you just luck into a fortune?
I am one of those people who thinks capitalism is largely worthless as a personal ideology (though not as an economic system). I think that because, as the author of this post has discovered, money is inherently worthless. Success means something, but money doesn't. Loom could have been a going concern. So many companies could have been. They didn't need infinite growth. They needed to do a good job to help their customers and make the world better by doing so.
Nobody seems to understand or care about that anymore.
If I were in your position, Vinay, I would quit my own retirement. I would give away as much of my money as I could, leaving only just enough to act as a safety net if I failed or had a true emergency. I'd put that money into some form of trust where it was difficult enough for me to access that I had to live within some limited means. Then I'd start another company, and, if it succeeded, keep it. No more acquisitions.
There's no point in money except what it buys you, but you already had what you wanted. You made a mistake and lost it. You'll have to start over to get it back.
(I also personally don't love AI and don't want more companies doing AI, but I am trying to focus on the point of this post, not an ex post facto discussion of Loom itself.)
money is not being rich.
No joke. I’ve seen it work wonders for providing meaning to many, including multiple rich-beyond-belief founders.
There is an impression that money made you unhappy, or at least it made you realise something. But you must always remember that loosing everything is just as easy as hard it was to get. Feels like you're really chill and sophisticated guy, but you need to spend more time alone and eventually you'll think these things through
If I didn't have to think about money I'd work on inventing Skynet. No, this is not a joke. I'm dead-serious.
Living organisms probably started as some self replicating RNA. Already a beautiful, complex creation of our Mother Earth. After eons of constant struggle for survival and resources, miraculously the consciousness emerged. Our kind, of millions of distinct species is the sole avatar able to perceive just about every aspect our planet has to offer AND reflect on them and our own existence. Tens of thousands of years of more struggle, each generation of our kin building on the teachings of generations past; from existing as specks roaming the face of the earth at the mercy of Mother Nature, to organizing as civilizations, and finally building robust systems that supply billions of people with necessities, give a voice to the people and escape serfdom and slavery (a process that’s still ongoing). A quirk of our capitalist system is that it __allows for__ and __benefits from__ individuals like yourself who can work extraordinarily hard to create lots of value. And naturally, you are rewarded with the profound ability to DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT (of the external aspects of your life). You have conquered all of existence.
You like climbing mountains. Imagine Everest but 1000 times higher. Imagine every living thing ever blindly climbing up with all their might, and their offspring spawns from their corpse when they die. Some fall. What you did was make it to the very PEAK of this impossibly, unimaginably large mountain of existence. You look out and you see nothing (because it’s so large, of course). Please, it’s okay to be confused. Don’t be scared. Take your time. You earned it. Don’t be upset that there’s nothing above for you to keep climbing. You have some options. Lay at the top forever (boring, lonely). Or, try to bring a few people up with you. Or, make it your mission to help as many people scale higher as possible. But what I think you might need, is to come back down - give up what you have or detach your self from the idea of being at the top. Much love brother, I think you are pretty cool. I would love to chat if you are down, I’ll send you an email.
Speaking of meaning, I think it’s a task for everyone to find their life’s calling - something you’re uniquely suited to do. Sometimes that pays the bills and sometimes it doesn’t. I’m a bit surprised that “start another saas company” wasn’t really on the list for Vinay, but there’s probably a good reason for that. For me, I found that starting a family completely changed my life, as well as helping me appreciate more the family I already had - but I suppose that’s not something that lasts forever either. Good luck to the author.
I know exactly what I’d do in your situation: help others. I live in a small city, and it has some problems and some opportunities. Even lacking funds I still do what I can to help the community around me. Spend some time with people who aren’t all in tech or on the beach and go find some reality. People like elon preaching doge are too far removed. Work on the ground. It’s hard and it’s real.
Best of luck!
elon musk said "vacation kills." hes one hundred percent correct. when you feel totally free you stop thinking in terms of how to protect yourself and begin to explore all possibilities in an unconstrained way. i dont have to be at work on monday so why not climb a mountain? why not go on safari? why not try this designer drug? logic could save you but without the impulse to protect your fragile life, not everyone is logical enough to sail those waters. i almost killed myself twice before i learned it.
the strange and absolutely unambiguous truth about life is that there is no such thing as not working. you must always be working. it doesnt matter how much money you have. the only way to live a good and satisfying life is to work and have enough at stake that you are afraid of failing. it is better to risk losing your money or even your life rather than stop working.
So my advice to anyone, really, is to always consider what you'd do with your life if money were no longer the chief concern of it, and to find more ways of incorporating that into your life until and unless such a time arises. Whatever you do, though, should be in the interest of uplifting others rather than yourself (you won Capitalism by reaching this point, after all). That provides a fulfillment every human ultimately needs in some form.
My general take on things is this: money is one of the closest things we have to a superpower in this world. With enough money, you can build new things, make steps toward solving hard problems, and influence people and organizations to do things you want.
Given all this, what kind of world would you want to live in? And with your newfound superpower, what kind of steps can you take that might get us closer to that world?
Now, of course, this path is fraught with many challenges and dangers (especially as evidenced by so many superpowered billionaires around the world that want us to live in an oligarchy, but that's a rant for another day). Instead, I'll end by sharing a few things that have helped shape my thinking about how I spend my time and what kind of positive impact I want to make on the world:
- https://whorulesamerica.ucsc.edu/power/wealth.html
- John Rawls on the Veil of Ignorance and the original position https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Original_position
- Prof. Michael Sandel (Harvard) on Justice: What's the Right Thing to do? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBdfcR-8hEY&list=PL30C13C91C...
- Prof. Robert Reich's course on Wealth and Poverty (former US Sec of Labor) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f2blKai7HA&list=PLOLArO56vj...
There's also an interview with a sci-fi author (Ted Chiang I believe, but I can't find it to confirm), that also posed an interesting question: what is your ideal world, and what steps are you taking to help us get closer to that world? For me, it's Star Trek, not the space exploration part (though that's cool), but the idea that Earth has become a planet where things like war, poverty, hunger, racism, and xenophobia are things in the far past, and every person can achieve their full potential. I know cynics will scoff, but that's a world I'd like to live in, and one I'm trying to use my superpowers to get to.
Every time I read something like this I think to myself 'just please go get a degree in academic philosophy.' It teaches you how to think.
The type of folks who were incredulous about the idea that someone would study something so useless and naval-gazing, I see many of them unsatisfied with life because they have taken the world as it comes, and haven't taken the time to read the existentialists, specifically the ones who wrote about success. I would recommend Tennessee Williams "The Catastrophe of Success": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Catastrophe_of_Success
Understanding existentialism, understanding absurdism, these are really useful things to being able to live a satisfying life but in abundance and in a lack of abundance. My partner is really into yoga and meditation and stuff, and much of what I've read about buddism is basically just religious existentialism and absurdism.
All the best to the author, I hope you are able to do well. Life is hard, and success isn't always what we wanted.
Step two is to find new friends. No, not to ditch your old ones; for being relative to you, poor, but to find other millionaires you can bitch about "zeroth world problems" with. If I told my friends that my Ferrari is going to take 2 years because there's a list, they're not going to have the remotest bit of sympathy, OR be able to help in any way. But if you make friend ym who are in that scene, they'll at least remember what it was like for them to get their first one, and maybe let you borrow theirs. (obviously Ferrari's aren't everyone's thing. The point is not the specifc brand, or even cars in general, but that, rich or poor, find community that you share interest with. You don't have to, but you can develop new, previously too expensive hobbies and will need new people who like those hobbies.
Form a foundation through which to give money that doesn't have your name on it. It'll come in handy for GoFundMe's for people you liked before you got rich. The anonymous button still gives your name to the organizer.
Take some time off to get utterly bored of not working. It's fun for a bit, but it gets old. After that, go find a job. Doesn't have to be a full time job, doesn't have to be paid, doesn't have to have anything to do with your. previous career, but trust me, you'll get bored having nothing to do eventually and need something.
One thing sticks out in that article though, and that's not doing something because Elon's cringe. If someone had said how cringe it is to record a video yourself reading slides, would he be where he is today?
Don't be Elon if you don't want to, but if you want to work on robotics, go work on robotics. Who gives a shit what that egomaniac does?
The bigger advice there is find a therapist and talk it through with them. find one through your new wealthy friends for someone that's experience in your new problems. Just like there are therapists rush specialize in bullying or sexual abuse or divorce, there are those who specialize in other areas.
First, hunter-gatherer internal resources (we are all still hunter gatherers after all, biologically speaking). The kind that makes you a capable hunter, i.e. the ability to acquire food/goods:
- Self-confidence - Self-belief - Patience - Ability to acquire new skills - Charisma/EQ - Ability to succeed in society and on earth
Then, the qualities preached in religion:
- Peace - Love - Kindness - A teaching and empathetic heart towards others - Compassion, etc.
Once you've acquired these things, you will no longer be afraid of death. Because you will have accomplished what you were born to do.
TLDR: Study the qualities that martial arts masters have. Because they are the people most at peace with death, which likely means they have accomplished what they were born to do. Then, acquire those qualities. Finally, teach others those qualiites.
Try making some friends with people who aren't as wealthy as you and try to help them out, maybe they need something that is out of their reach, maybe their family needs expensive medicine or something. Anyways, my TL;DR is make friends, spend your money on others and stop hoarding it because it won't make you happy.
They will change your whole program, and for the better.
Guy seems amazed that based on whatever probably incorrect information he gets about the government being inefficiently run left him aghast.
Dude got super lucky on a bet about remote work that is not even panning out for the purchaser.
The biggest challenge I see - the economy is about to be transformed dramatically. AI systems may replace much or all of cognitive labor, and soon afterwards manual labor via robotics. Labor displacement, inequality, hupercapitalism, you name it.
We have no good theses on how to handle this transition, or the role of governments in making sure this goes well for people. We need economic policies and strategies to improve human outcomes post-transition.
If you don't care about money, I can't think of anything more impactful than this work. Ping me @ Convergence Analysis if it's of interest
> billionaires want you to know they could have done physics https://youtu.be/GmJI6qIqURA?t=1271
If one doesn't have principles based on life meaning, optimizing metrics is a good way of calming down your urges but it the end it does not work. How can you tell it doesn't work? Simply because your feedback loop stops giving you the dopamine response you expect and you need to escalate just to calm down. Far away travels, dangerous actions, more expensive stuff even tried to get into an DOGE without even knowing what the problem with DOGE -smart- thinkers is because philosophy, political science or history apparently hasn't been your life's focus. You still consider it important, that it was a very intelligent group they allowed you in, without figuring out what was wrong with their whole premise. It would be apparent to a first year social sciences student, someone who has visited a Tesla factory o to someone from a country with a sizeable functioning government that has not been a victim of corporate capture for decades.
Money is important, but if I were I would beg my girlfriend back if it was a relationship of feelings, try to reconnect with some friends and family that were probably lost during this multi year grind, people you will be considering as boring because no dopamine. Ask then how they are doing, play with their kids see why they are not boring. Read some Gabor Mate and Irvin Yalom and have just one main goal: Being able after 2-3 years to lie down in the grass for a couple of hours,doing nothing, just looking at the stars, being calm without your nervous system randomly spiking and pushing you towards chaos. Talk to people who don't know you are rich, try to learn from them. Avoid extreme environments.
Currently you describe a nervous system that seems to be taking important decisions for meaningless actions which you then rationalize. Not admitting any mistakes, not failing since there were no goals in the first place other than grinding.
I know that, been there, done that, I am still there, I am not getting out anytime soon either. There are many people in that status, that is not special either.
always amazed how life is like that
we get more high from chasing something than achieving something
> Why did I need to do the absolute most to reach this point?
> Why couldn’t I just leave Loom and say “I don’t know what I want to do next”?
> Why do I feel the need to only be on a journey if it’s grand?
> What is wrong with being insignificant?
> Why is letting people down so hard?
For these questions, I would suggest, you please read blogposts on https://os.me
Om Swami is an entrepreneur extraordinaire and has discovered his own truth. I am sure you will find it helpful.
Spoiler: He was(is?) also ultra rich and has figured out this stuff.
> tries to be Elon Musk
> Breaks up with girlfriend
> joins DOGE (to not be like Elon…?)
> Mentions repeatedly the desire to not be cringe
Sounds like a cringey Elon fantasy despite the self awareness
I mean I will also probably spend about the first three months just catching up on video games, but after that I have a couple of mpd plugins I've been meaning to write, and that's just for starters.
0xB7ed48cEb34Bcf73d8cFCB7904d2ae2C3F685D42
A man’s search for meaning is perhaps the best book on a cure for this affliction. I have a hard time taking seriously people who believe their problems are unique
You want freedom, but that is a freedom to choose. It is not an end goal to never choose anything.
You are talking about money. You are talking about girlfriend. You always think about possessing.
If you are fishing for some suggestions I’d first find a good personal trainer and fix the body. At the same time join a career change counseling group workshop.
Don’t let others do things for you. Walk everywhere, use a bicycle. Also cooking kills some time.
Good luck
I lost it all. I spent some time grieving, did some crazy things, decided to build wealth all over again, but then didn’t. I instead picked a topic and started learning. Three degrees later I’m pushing the boundaries of a field I had never heard of in that past life.
I’m not rich, but I’m comfortable.
I’m happy.
Enjoy Physics. It’s awesome.
Wealth is something that removes obstacles to figuring out what to do with your life. If you had "being wealthy" as the goal itself, no wonder you're now feeling aimless. Instead, you should have been living your life, and now you'd think "great, now I can continue doing what I've been doing, except I don't need to worry about money".
Work shouldn't be your life. At most, work should be an interesting thing you do for the challenge, and which you'd do even if you weren't getting paid to.
It’s evident in the paragraph below where he said he’s leaving DOGE to “save our government”. The writer lacks clarity and coherence of thought. How exactly is he saving the government after his DOGE stint?
>>So, after 4 intense and intoxicating weeks, I called off my plans to move to DC and embark on a journey to save our government with some of the smartest people I’ve ever met. And I booked a 1-way ticket to Hawaii.
Studying physics in the jungle, focusing on my insecurities
So now I’m in Hawaii. I’m learning physics. Why? The reason I tell myself is to build up my first principles foundation so I can start a company that manufactures real world things. It seems plausible, but I’m learning to just accept that I am happy learning physics. That’s the goal in and of itself.
Sad how he just goes adventure hopping to try and find meaning. The problem is no matter where you are you are also there. Time to look inward and not outward.
Stay hungry my friend.
You don't need purpose, you need perspective.
Instead of benefiting the billionaire class by working with DOGE to tear down what little safety nets we do have, go volunteer to pack meals or drive a truck at your local food bank. https://www.sfmfoodbank.org/volunteer/
They'll be a lot less judgemental than I am.
Can get rich but can suss this out. More common than not
Or is this a test ChatGPT or other LLM post to see if HGI exists, considering the comments that seem to be taking the OP seriously?
H for Human. As in Human General Intelligence, as opposed to AGI.
Or is the OP just an Elon-level narcissist and/or a huge startup koolaid alcoholic?
Genuinely can't tell.
Emperor mumble clothes.
Being a creature that's 1% more or less appropriate to its environment (not too smart or dull, not too strong or weak) is the actual game. Everything else is random noise. This means becoming spectacularly successful makes you irrelevant -- a spectator.
This can lead to artificial contests, between organisms that have already won the primary contest. So, after saying, "Wait, what now?", people invent make-believe goals -- climb mountains, make even more money, learn to cook a perfect omelette -- hoping to restore a sense of purpose.
In this non-contest, the least successful burn out, maybe even die prematurely. The most successful invent an imaginary, artificial goal that turns into a real advance. Transistors. Lasers. Antibiotics. Things that weren't really necessary until they appeared and, by existing, became their own reason to exist.
So ... done climbing mountains? Choose an important, unsolved problem and work on it. The problem list is long and deserving:
Batteries.
Cancer.
Population.
Late-stage capitalism.
People who want to kill everyone who doesn't share their beliefs.
I very much dislike the trend of calling other people NPCs.
When you feel tempted to see someone else as an NPC, it might be helpful to remember the concept of "sonder":
> the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
https://www.dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com/post/23536922667/...
fuck you.
Honestly, yeah, I feel you man. I'm a bit adrift. I had a bad childhood too. I largely defined myself through my work and effort. I saw other people (mostly older co-workers in my career) as NPCs. I majored in Physics, PHD in neuro. I might get it, I dunno.
But I have a family, and that changes things a lot for me. I have built in 'purpose' in my life that is orthogonal to my 'work life'. So, caveats there. Now, work life comes after kid-time, in terms of priority.
The things that I can say that are different is that I'm finding purpose through others. The way I see it: We're all just naked beach apes on a soggy rock flung through the void, telling stories to each other around the fire.
So, tell the stories that matter.
I.E. get to work trying to help other people. You have the fuck you money now, like me, it would be a shame to not say 'fuck you' a few times. To the people that really need it said to them. This is gonna sound really strange for HN, but, maybe start going to religious services. Generally, religion is there to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That's maybe something you sound like you need. Shop around for churches/mosques/etc. Unitarian Universalist is the 'church' for atheists, pretty old too, not a 'new' thing. It's good to get into a community that does a lot of volunteer work, FYI.
You said you found an iota of purpose with the DOGE thingy. Maybe try breaking that down a bit for yourself, explore why those feeling came up. You're a go-getter, ready and willing to work hard. It does sound like some sort of public service (define that as broadly as you can) would be good for you, and for all of us.
Still, we're both 'babies' at being rich. It's gonna take some time, maybe longer than we have left, to figure that out for ourselves.
One real thing though: Get your GF back, fast. Grovel. You'll find nothing but gold-diggers now, it's just a fact, I'm so sorry about it. She was there before you were rich (I think I read that right?), you know she's in it for you, not the cash. From what you said, she doesn't mind the hours you work. Or just you in general. That's a tremendous gift. If you want the kids, she's the best path you got for a family you're not paranoid about. Really. Marriage is a market, and you're hot property now, be very careful. Honestly, if you can get her back, fuck that pre-nup shit too. Jump in with both feet, never leave, tie yourself up, make it really hard to go. Your future self will hate you, but that guy's future self will love you.
Best of luck man. Take the time, forgive yourself for dumb shit as you get used to it. Get back to work and say fuck you a bit more for the right reasons. You sound like a chill dude who is trying hard. Keep that vibe.
"I am rich and yet find it to be unfulfilling and not the ultimate goal of human existence"
and yet,
"I am a big fan of capitalism" and repeat wholesale its most puerile, naive ideological propaganda mantras (see his about page) which are meant to justify _exactly_ that.
Bud, seems like you have some more thinking to do if you think those two positions are perfectly congruent.
edit: according to another's comment referencing a $56m payout, it now occurs to me that his confusing mention of a $60m figure may have been exactly that
Find other people to make happy, by first reducing their misery, and you ensure your own luck and happiness. It's the most important magic there is, along with repeating a Holy Name of God, like Nyame in Ghanaian (I learned that today on a walk).
Lebron reaps the joy of those hundreds of kids that he makes happy every single day. It comes back into our inner peace and happiness. And power.
Succeed for others and your success will only grow. Because compassion. Always compassion.
The only proper emotion in success is gratitude to the many people who helped you along the way.
Have some bloody decorum.
Calling people "NPCs" is vile.
And, the entire ideology that makes it okay to say that one's fellow earthling is just an NPC? That is probably a major component of this person's problems.
How about you use some of that fuck you money and go buy a soul, asshole?
I will never have $60M, but I will also never not have a soul.
e: advice comes in all shapes and forms. you want me to lie to him? what would buddha do
{ "reflections": [ { "text_snippet": "Life has been a haze this last year. After selling my company...", "response": "This reminds me of Joseph Campbell's concept of 'hitting the wasteland' - that disorienting period after achieving what society told you was the ultimate goal. Campbell wrote about this in 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces,' describing how many mythological heroes face their greatest crisis not in battle, but in the emptiness that follows victory. There's a beautiful quote from his lectures: 'If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take.'" }, { "text_snippet": "Everything feels like a side quest, but not in an inspiring way", "response": "This evokes Viktor Frankl's concept of the 'existential vacuum' - the state of emptiness that comes when our primary drive is satisfied but we haven't yet found what he calls our 'will to meaning.' You might find resonance in his lesser-known work 'The Unheard Cry for Meaning' where he writes: 'What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal.'" }, { "text_snippet": "I have infinite freedom, yet I don't know what to do with it", "response": "This reminds me of Kierkegaard's meditation on anxiety and freedom. He saw anxiety not as fear of external threats, but as the dizzying awareness of infinite possibility. In 'The Concept of Anxiety,' he describes it as 'the dizziness of freedom, which emerges when the spirit wants to posit the synthesis and freedom looks down into its own possibility.'" } ], "questions": [ { "personal": "What did you imagine freedom would feel like before you achieved this level of it?", "philosophical": "When you say things feel like 'side quests,' I'm curious - what would a 'main quest' feel like to you now?" } ], "closing_thought": "Your situation reminds me of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha after he became a wealthy merchant. He had everything, yet felt a profound emptiness that eventually led him to his true path. Sometimes the void itself becomes the doorway to something deeper." }
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Really cool to read the comments in this thread & see the real-life advice of people who have been in these situations too!
If you do think that can be given a try then hey.. we (my wife and me, my wife more than me) are looking to build something and could do with some investment to take that risk.