I think you answered yourself that if you _can_ speak Japanese, things are different. The reality is that if you can speak Japanese, it's quite easy to be well integrated with the people. In your example, I don't know if the Romanian learned Spanish or everyone is speaking English but there is likely a common language. Making the reason "traditional culture and habits" and just not a lack of a shared language seems wrong to me, at least I feel quite integrated. Please stop telling people "they will never be Japanese" since it's blatantly wrong.
I've lived in Japan for many years and speak Japanese alright (disclaimer, that was a long time ago though, in the 90s) and now live in Germany. I travel a lot.
I think what you're saying is directionally correct, but really more of a difference in degree.
For example, I've often seen Asian-Germans being addressed in broken English by older Germans, even though German is their strongest language. Or being complimented on their fluent German. That's got to feel pretty "othering".
And don't tell me the country that just elected mister Trump is as open to the world as is often claimed.
This may all feel completely different if you're around the right group of people, and I imagine that's similar in Japan today, though I haven't been back in a long time.
It's not necessarily going to be the situation forever.
Every demographic crisis involving low birthrates is an immigration melting pot waiting for the population to get desperate enough to change policies.
Unless people accept the reality that perpetual growth is impossible, and that the economy will shrink as the population does. The UK austerity years provides a decent example of such a "managed decline", albeit with more immigrants, but that's not assured when the next conservative government comes to power.
According to the three japanese people in my group here and some other feedback from people living there before, same as you I guess, and they speak japanese quite ok, our conclusion is that being one more is not as easy as in other countries.
I say this from the strictest respect to japanese. I like them, I like their culture.
If you live there you must know perfectly that just bc they act politely does not mean they are thinking you do not bother them. A japanese would rarely tell you that. And if someone did, it is likely to do it in an indirect way, as most asians do. Japanese are in the extreme of that polite behavior.
Since this makes a strong assumption on how people "think", I really don't know how to respond to this.
> If you live there you must know perfectly
No I don't.
Said in another way: they will just tell you the positive stuff and will discard negative things. Why? Because for them "projecting negativity" is something plain bad and wrong. This is the reason, for example, why it is almost impossiboe to see a japanese crying in public. That is projecting negativity. They will not go and tell you: "man, how did you comb today you look crazy", even if it is what they are thinking. And like this, millions of things. So maybe you think they are polite or even they like you just bc u dnt get any of this, but observe further: they put distance, they do not make you into their groups except for really formal appointments (business, work), etc. No, it is not easy to get integrated in Japan. It is just not easy.
That they are amazingly polite when dealing with you does not mean you are fully integrated at all.
It means they are polite. Nothing else. If you do not believe me, try to make yourself the person in a group surrounded by japanese. It is very likely, to say it plainly, that you are not just accepted as one more in their circles. For business yes, for close friendship, I doubt it in most cases though this varies a bit in bigger places.
It is really tough.
Basically, what people euphemism away here is "you get to be slightly discriminated against". In the USA situation, we would say "they are racist against you while keeping it politically correct wherever provable". It has measurable impact.
You are wrong here. You will indeed never be Japanese if you haven't both 2 ethnic Japanese parents and raised in Japanese (second-generation raised abroad, for instance in South American are out). You can't rewrite all your DNA and go back in time to have a Japanese education in Japan.
The real issue is why caring so much about "becoming" Japanese? You can integrate in Japanese society as a foreigner, and being treated as an outsider also has its perks. Typically you are not expected to follow some of the rules, and thus has less bullshit to deal with. Just be careful of not becoming too good in Japanese (or at least pretend not to be), so you can maximize the benefits of speaking Japanese while minimizing the expectations.
That said, when I say "you will never be a japanese" I am not talking ethnic groups. I am saying that even if you speak japanese and try to be japanese, people in Japan will always see you as an outsider. This is not the case, for example, for a black african raised in Spain who speaks spanish perfectly. They just become a fully integrated part of Spain and noone even questions that as long as he adopted the language and culture.
I think you are assuming they share the same definition of "Japanese" as you. Even the Japanese government does not agree with your definition.
I am not talking in formal terms indeed.
I love living in Japan, but I’ll never be able to adopt that mindset, or be able to eat all those disgusting fishes they love.
That’s fine. A lot of Japanese people think it’s valuable to have different perspectives too, even if they could never convince themselves that it’s ok to just walk up to someone and ask them what their problem is.
So the sentiment that somehow Japanese are incompatible for culture reasons, which is the message I got from the thread I replied to, is not correct in your opinion too, right?
That is different from going around and just interacting with them, which I found smooth and polite.
If you think that interacting eith japanese at work or shops or restaurants is the same as becoming part of them, well, that is ok, you seem to live there. I think it is more difficult than in other countrues and by this I am not meaning they are bad.
For example, far fewer japanese speak english than other developed countries, which is a trait of ehat they care about.
Also, when working or interacting with japanese myself, I found they follow rules really strictly compared to the "flexibility mindset" that westerners tend to have when solving problems.
They will not go and correct their bosses if they see mistakes because "they will notice themselves". So there is a lot of room to make innocent mistakes when interacting with them and many, face it, are not even that interested beyond a trivial and polite conversation and I am not meaning bad. Every culture has their priorities and taste.
> cooked I can't do, sashimi I'm fine
btw completely understand this. My technical brain says just pure NaCl and pure heat for a whole fish as caught with absolutely no herbs allowed is technically crazy. I hated the brown chiai regions in buri slices growing up. It's crazy that yaki-zakana, literally "roast fish" is one of characteristic dish of the country.
