Right now a pain point is trying to set time limits on websites (like youtubekids or lego.com) because although I don't object to them per se, I also don't want him to spend hours browsing the lego website, watching videos, etc.
On iOS devices there are good tools that allow granular level time blocking of websites, apps, etc. Does anyone know of any tools that allow even basic password-protected time blocking on desktop browsers, or a cross-platform (iOS/Linux) time limiter?
Every child is different, some will be more addicted to the internet but in different levels and in different ways. And kids are smart, and will find ways to get what they want outside your monitoring.
To guide (not force) them to seek interesting YouTube channels, can be very rewarding, and even healthy. Develop their curiosity and be ready to explain.
In the extreme of blocking and over protection may have the opposite results and resentment.
All this is easier said than done.
Full disclosure: pi-hole, iOS screen time, and Microsoft family safety
* there should be one
* it will make no sense to a child as something they enjoy and is available in unlimited quantity, will be taken away for no reason they understand
* It will come down to an argument from authority and one needs to be strong, emotionally intelligent and sensitive to make that work.
It's going to be an important skill for them as an adult to self manage. Further, we don't want to apply shame/guilt to screentime just because it's screen time. There's such a huge range of activities that involve a screen. I used to think YouTube was the lowest bar of screen time, but there is generally so much deep, informational content that kids love (like History Oversimplified). So many creative activities involve a screen. And frankly it's a primary form of social interaction for older kids.
What can you do?
One thing is model better behavior as adults. As two WFH parents, this is really really hard. It means not being on screens all the time as adults. I've found if you show interest in things, your kids will too. So setting up activities you do together that don't involve screens is crucial. And doing activities BY YOURSELF that don't involve screens is crucial if you want your kids to do activities by themselves without screens.
(conversely those in-app controls notoriously make it difficult to unify controls in iOS as well)
https://ubuntuhandbook.org/index.php/2021/11/time-limits-for...
I use a physical kitchen eggtimer to signal to my son it's time for a break. I joke that the eggtimer is compatible with all operating systems, has less setup and maintenance than any (let's be honest) linux application and generally forces me to get out of my chair to turn it off. It's simple, but it works.
[1] https://mariushosting.com/how-to-install-pi-hole-on-your-syn... [2] https://www.wundertech.net/how-to-setup-pi-hole-on-a-synolog...
You might have let the cat out of the bag too early but I wouldn't have let her know that her old laptop can even do YouTube, or the Lego website, and instead gave her wikipedia and few other sources of content (PBS maybe?) that is educational and fun but not so fun that she gets lost in it forever. We can watch TV and videos on the TV like a family, I'd set up a laptop for other purposes and only after her other obligations have been met.
1. Enforced limits are adversarial.
2. Conversations around how the internet/devices etc are fantastic while fraught with a million pitfalls may seem too much for a 9yo to handle, but you might be surprised if you try.
3. In general, having healthier alternatives and some timely reminders work great. For example: If he is spending hours browsing the lego website, perhaps he'd love to try out a large lego project.
4. Teens and pre-teens right now will inhabit a world that is over-reactive to online stimuli. Being hygienic / responsible about the online world and screen time is an important skill to cultivate.
One of the primary jobs for parents is to set limits. Bedtime, sugar, chores, homework, etc are all forms of limits. If screentime is more adversarial than bedtime, could this be an indication of addiction?
It does take more time initially, but it has resulted in a more responsible child and a more respectful child - parent relationship.
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Addiction: if the limits get broken frequently, it definitely is a sign of addiction and indicates a need for healthier alternatives.
Use a timer if you need one, five min before it rings let your offspring know (no one likes to be interrupted in the middle), once the time is up that is it.
This type of commentary online is contradictory and lazy.
- Parent puts in effort to manage their child's time (and or access).
WHY AREN'T YOU PARENTING?!
- Parent doesn't put in effort to manage their child's time (and or access).
WHY AREN'T YOU PARENTING?!
Plus when a parent really goes whole-hog on the whole protective thing they get criticized for being authoritarian and or not allowing their kid to make mistakes/grow into an adult.
The direct implication here is that a child should only have exactly as much time on technology as the parent has free time to sit behind them and look over their shoulder. Yet if you phased a parent doing that as a question from the child's point-of-view, it would get HEAVILY criticized (and perhaps not incorrectly either). In essence all parenting today exists in a super position (or "Schrödinger's Parenting" if you will) wherein everything they do is incorrect and or a complete contradiction.
Seemingly to comes from two groups:
- Those who have never had kids.
- Those who had kids before technology really existed like it does today.
These people don't really have anything valuable to offer the discussion.
I’m not sure when we crossed that threshold where actively trying to limit technology in a fair and automated way access became “lazy parenting” but I don’t like it.
Otherwise you seem to project personal stuff I have no opinion on.
If necessary, as others have alluded to, a global timer is best.
