I’m expecting a second kid and my wife isn’t working and I feel like I need to diversify my income but have never been entrepreneurial and don’t know where to start.
I have more than a couple years worth of savings. But this is partly due to not owning a house. Where I live the downpayment would consume most of those savings.
Ny wife wouldn’t be able to make high skilled wages unless she invested substantial time into upskilling which she doesn’t have at the moment.
How do I shake this feeling? Is there something I should be doing to protect myself besides what I’ve already ?
You have multiple years of savings. You have an in demand skill that won't go out of demand any time soon. You have enough fundamentals of that skill so if you had to switch from one language to another it wouldn't be a huge stretch. Sounds like you have yours and your wife's health. Also sounds like you don't have to worry about immigration problems from losing your job (not on an H1B or some other work permit).
This is what helped me when I was feeling anxious about losing my job due to immigration issues in the USA.
1. I continued to keep in contact once every 3 months, just saying hi, to previous co-workers. It's a system I learned here: https://courses.jordanharbinger.com/courses/6-minute-network.... Literally just saying "hi" and not asking for anything. This means I always have a warm network of people who'll gladly send me a job in case anything ever were to go wrong.
2. Because of #1, I'd have an inbound interview probably once every 3-4 months I would take. Most of the time I'd turn down the job, but it helped me emotionally know "I got this".
3. I paid off all my debts, cut up all my credit cards, and stopped borrowing money from anyone for any reason. Ya I'm losing some arbitrage opportunities. I don't care. I'm optimizing for psychological comfort.
If you have skills and relationships you will _always_ make money. Full stop. A lot of engineers only focus on the skills. Keeping relationships is VERY easy. EVERYONE is bad as proactively reaching out and saying hi to people so if you JUST spend five minutes a day proactively saying hi people WILL remember you.
You don't need to make new relationships, you just need to nurture the ones you have.
What made me switch was one day I had to come up with a deposit for a new apartment with a couple of room mates. Two days before I went to get a cashiers cheque my credit card auto-paid itself and I had significantly less cash than I thought and couldn't cover the deposit. I felt embarrassed and stupid. Should I have checked better? For sure. Now I _always_ check because the money _always_ comes out of the same account. If I'm cash short one day and want to buy something... I just wait a few days.
I also make 90% of my purchases via cash day to day. Every Sunday I take out a chunk of cash and use that for coffee/beer/taking my girlfriend out to eat etc. Part of it is because I live in Taiwan and it's still very a much a cash based society (e.g. they'll take _cash on delivery_ for most things too).
I'm not particularly frugal. I order Uber Eats all the time, I have a personal trainer at a nice gym nearby, I go to nice restaurants with my girlfriend, I'll buy a round of drinks for friends at the bar, etc. But for me, there's definitely something to looking at my wallet, not seeing as much cash as I thought, and thinking "On second thought, I went out two nights in a row, I don't need to go out again."
I don't ever take out personal loans on anything either. Including car loans, those have always been cash. I'm not opposed to taking out a mortgage in the future, but I do like the idea of buying a house all out in cash and not having to owe a single person anything.
So I tore them up, used a debit card for everything and only bought things I had money for. When everything was paid off and I had no debts, there was a real change in my demeanor. Best thing I ever did.
I will say I tried to buy a car a few years after having made this change. When they ran my credit, I remember the guy saying - I'm having trouble getting you a loan. It's not that you have bad credit, it's that you have NO credit.
So at that point I got a loan for a couple consumer purchases to build credit. Later I caved and got a (costco) credit card, and paid it in full every month.
Now a credit card is not a big deal, but I think I had to get to the point where I was ahead (and maybe slightly more mature)
I do the exact same think as mentioned here, but on top of that I even go as far to have a list of 3-5people that would get me a job instantly. I keep in touch and ask what skills I should refine (in case I would jump ship in 6mth to 1 year).
How do you know? OP didn't mention what he did.
OP if you're working as a newspaper printing machine repair person disregard everything I said and get a new trade :P
Networking and contacts are hugely important, good relations with others will buffer you through bad times (and be sure to support others).
Investments are also wise, however they can go bad in ways that "bricks and morter" that you can touch won't.
So, you can't afford a house (yet) - one decent way to get a leg in is to put a solid deposit down on undeveloped land on the outskirts of an are that will grow over the next decade .. preferably within half a day or so of where you live | work.
You can pay that off over time, you can build a solid (slab floor) lockup prefab shed for ~ $10K that can act as storage space and a fall back space to camp | work in the worst case. It's an investment you can trade up on for a starter home down the track, etc.
It's real estate baby steps with cheap storage included.
This is not without substantial risk. Land that is developable in a certain way today may not be be tomorrow. If the area is in fact getting wealthier you're basically racing to develop faster than it gentrifies. You have to thread the needle of buying when cheap and developing before "the wrong kind of people" show up and make that impossible except at the highest end (unaffordable to the private individual) in order to make bank selling to said demographics.
E.g.: right now, there are two possibilities: that I get laid off, or not. If not, everything good. If yes, there are two possibilities: that I find a job in a month or less, or not. If yes, all good. If not, I still have 2 months of savings that I can easily spread to 4 months reducing all accessories expenses. Is it enough time? If yes, all good, if not, I can buy other 6 months selling assets. Are they enough? If yes, all good, if not, I have different layers of social nets that can help me (I am not going in details here, but I have at least other 5 steps before becoming homeless, and all of them have a very low probably of failure, barring a nuclear war).
So, the worst case scenario is less probable that being hit by a car while going to my current job, so not really something I should worry about
I like to calculate, too. When I bought my house, it was just far enough from the closest large city that I would probably survive if that city was hit by a typical thermonuclear bomb....
;)
And, OP says
> I have more than a couple years worth of savings.
They are definitely not a step or two away from the worst case
And even in that case it may be possible to buy insurance against the consequences. For example, if I am hit by a car and cannot work again, I get paid an inflation-linked sum of around 60% of my salary until my retirement date.
Maybe there's an opportunity to improve - reevaluate your eating habbits, car, fun?
Download csv of last 3/6/9/12 months of payments from your bank
get into Excel and start querying and thinking about it
How many celebrities, pop stars and lottery winners ended up bankrupt after earning/winning millions?
Depends. If you can stop spending on some irrelevant shit, then I don't see it being more healthier.
If you have to stop spending on better quality food, then yes.
Either way: why not both? earn more and spend less :)
These number catch up, simple review transaction is saves a ton of money.
One of the most relavatory phrases that really got me thinking (and changing) is "live under your means".
You can hedge against it with good insurance, but that doesn't protect you against a lot of externalities (you can't insure against a second great depression for example). The only way to actually resolve it is to become "fuck you money" rich. Very few people manage that.
The best route forwards is to stoicly resolve to enjoy what you have while you have it and accept what life gives when things change. This might be harder than getting fuck you money though.
This quote and your comment as a whole sum it perfectly, imo.
We used to have stronger family/friend connections that were very helpful for times like these, i.e. for when catastrophic events were happening. Nowadays we're most probably living hundreds if not thousands of kilometers away from our very close family, and not sure about other HN-ers, but I personally would feel very uncomfortable if I were forced to ask for some financial help from my very close friends, as I think they would turn me down.
Again, that wasn't always the case. One could "pass" the kids to said kids' grand-parents for a while, because most probably they were living in the same town/village, and the same goes for sharing economic resources in times of need with friends. Now we're into all this alone.
This kind of thinking induces a highly toxic form of fatalism, and is not helping. The reality is that a tech worker in a western country (with a health insurance) is probably more secure than 95% of people through history.
Fatalism, though, often leads to people neglecting to do those things they actually can do to reduce risk, including:
1) Limit consumption to a level you would be able to live on for years, should your income go down.
2) Limit borrowing similarly. Don't borrow so much that you'd have to sell your assets at a loss if you're fired during the next depression.
3) Take care of your own mind and body. Exercise both, and continue to learn new skills continously.
4) Be careful when chosing a partner. Look for someone who is wise, dependable and a bit thrifty over someone who's exciting, overconfident or is wasting money and resources.
5) Once married, make sure you do what you can to keep the relationship healthy. Treat your partner with respect, and ask for respect back. It's a lot easier to face life as a team.
6) Also, take care of your extended family, friends and local community. Be there for them when they need it. Within limits, don't let them take advantage of you.
7) Treat your coworkers with the respect they deserve, or even a bit more. Build a reputation as someone who makes a difference both for company and the coworkers.
8) Be mindful about how to invest your financial assets. Spread the risk between asset classes. 25% each of stocks, bonds, real estate and cash/deposits is a very stable mix. But 30/30/30/10 or 50/20/20/10 are also pretty good.
9) Don't expect your saving to make you rich quickly. Consider it a store of value, not a lottery ticket.
10) Adopt a mentality of stoicism. Be content with the fact that you're already doing the things that makes the world safe and healthy for you and your family. Dont let those things you cannot change freak you out, nothing good comes from that.
Over time, your capital will grow, including your, skills, relationships and savings. This will take you from the 95% most secure in human history to the within the 99% most secure.
Now, if you LIKE risk and excitement, you can of course break any or all of the above. You will still probably come out ok. But that's for another personality type than the OP, I think.
I work for a company which makes control systems for large industrial machinery. Our order book is about 10 years long. The products we sell will be in use for at least 30 years, and if at any time during that a safety issue is found, we are required to fix it. The team is quite small and we are fully stretched to meet the product requirements. In other words, layoffs are pretty much impossible
I could leave but I’d be further from family and further from tech jobs. Feels like I might trade one anxiety for another.
You have a lot of money in savings, and a career in a high-demand, well-paid industry. You could be better off, and it's good to strive fore more security, but no matter how secure you are, there are always going to be reasons to worry.
Learning to cope with anxiety is a must-have skill, in my opinion.
One of the first things my therapist introduced me to was called the ARC model of emotion, which stands for Antecedent (whatever is happening just before you experience an emotion), Response (how you feel and what you do) and Consequence (the results of your response).
Basically, by taking note of what is happening when you are anxious, you can start to identify what is triggering the anxiety. Simply identifying the source of your anxiety goes a long way toward reducing its hold on you.
https://behavioralassociatesla.com/2015/08/17/understanding-...
A couple of years savings sounds good, but no mention of debt was made. Debt can have a huge impact on risk and peace of mind.
Not counting retirement/pension? That's actually pretty great!
It might be most effective to invest time in networking. That would be a prerequisite for any kind of entrepreneurship, but more practically would help you find a new job quicker if you were laid off.
What would you suggest for networking. I could respond to more recruiters I leave on read on LinkedIn. What else can I or should I do?
It sounds like you already covered the reserves, good. You should have at least a few months of emergency funds, especially with kids and family. Layoffs are not the only reason for these funds, you might get sick, have an accident, need to take care of someone etc etc.
Also take a look at your costs. Are there any unneeded expenses that you can cut, maybe temporarily? Do you really need Netflix, Spotify AND DisneyPlus right now? Cutting some expenses may not be THE definitive answer, but it gives you some sense of control and might help with anxiety.
And lastly, try to accept that life is somewhat random. There are lots of things you simply can't control. You can de-risk certain bad events, but there's never a 100% guarantee for anything. It took me a while to realize this, but once you're there you get much calmer :-)
Job security is your boss likes you and you did do most of that new project by yourself, nobody else even really knows how it works. Seems unlikely you would get fired.
Career Security is you keep up with the most effective approaches in industry, you learn new languages on the weekend, bias for transparency and training your replacement, going to conferences, expanding your network, interviewing once a month for fun and practice. Usually this approach leads to more job security too but the arena you're playing in is the total market for tech workers rather than one company.
It's a slider scale too, you can do more or less stuff but thats kind of the way I think about it.
Having an emergency fund is nice too.
Your real worry should be that there is no safe place to store value for regular people.. Real estate is not liquid enough.. Fiat devaluates quickly.. Maybe gold is a reasonable store, but it is still somewhat annoying and what guarantee do you REALLY have there anyway?
1) Talk to your wife, make sure she knows that layoffs happened at your company and that you were not affected this time round.
2) Calculate your monthly expenses
3) Work out your exact runway. How many months can you go without working.
If you want a longer runway then reduce your expenses.
Personally I felt completely secure when I bought my house outright, no mortgage. Everything up till that point was just incremental improvements.
I’m assuming you don’t live in california?
Instead, focus on increasing your employability. If the economy crashed, could you easily get a job? If not, what skills do you need to learn to be in that position?
I use YouNeedABudget (YNAB: https://www.youneedabudget.com/) which gives me a lot of confidence about my finances.
It’s not just about making sure you’ve got enough money either, it’s about spending it guilt free, because in your budget, you’ve already spent it. This helps me budget for things like haircuts, and other self-care things without worrying about it or feeling guilty. The net effect is that I look after myself in new ways and feel more confident about where my money is earmarked. This could be a way to help shake your feeling.
Maybe invest some of that pile in a few therapy sessions to see if you’re still living some maladaptive coping strategy that helped protect you when things were thinner. It helped me, anyway.
What calms me down when I’m feeling anxious like you is to write down some plans with different scenarios: good, okay and bad.
Once I have a plan for the “bad” scenario I feel way more comfortable and can chill.
With a second child on the way and having seen co-workers get laid off, it's entirely understandable that you're nervous. Diversifying your income isn't what you need to do, instead you may benefit from talking to a financial advisor to make sure you're allocating your excess income appropriately to prepare for the future. Talking to a therapist about your concerns could also help you work through the anxiety.
First off it’s important to remember you really are fine. You have more savings than majority of people. You work in a lucrative field and have a set of skills that are in demand. Even if the economic situation is dire. Your savings runway alone has me confident in your situation
It’s scary though! The best I would do is worry less about trying to bring in a second income yourself. Don’t deprive yourself of time with your family. Reduce costs at home where you can and pocket those savings.
Downloading my expenses from the past year into CSV and just plotting that out in Excel helped a lot.
You seem to be quite well placed. However, as yourself a few questions.
How liquid are those savings? I.e., how fast can you pull those savings into bank account, if needed.
Where all have you saved them? Equity, debt etc. And for each of those asset classes how vulnerable are your savings? Assume stock markets were to go down by 30%, how will that impact your savings?
Post 2008 major financial institutions and banks were required to periodically conduct stress test simulations and publish results. I suggest you do the same for your situation. Run a few scenarios, maybe even a worst case. Whatever you believe is going to be the worst case.
If you have multiple years of savings and still feel anxiety, you might consider that this could have to do more with your own character, psyche and situation than with actual real risks, especially if you are working in a sector where people of your skill are always sought after.
The other answer would be worker rights — so either live somewhere where they exist or start fixing them by joining an union. As someone living in a country with universal healthcare, decent worker rights and social services I don't have to be that afraid of what happens when my boss decides to hand me my 3 months notice (including a valid cititation of what I did wrong) or if they don't prolong my 4 year contract. They also cannot throw me out if I have an accident and cannot come for half a year. I also won't pay a penny in health care costs when that happens because universal healthcare.
Having a solidaric environment directly translates into ease of mind. I am still a (too) hard working person and I earn well, but I don't have to worry about certain things and I like to work in an environment where others don't have to worry either.
So fix yourself and/or fix the world
If you have savings which aren't counted in that, you are better than 90% of the people out there who are happy and chugging along.
I would recommend building document with your backup plans and runaway. That should give you ample time to reflect.
If your wife can step in and provide baseline benefits and income, that frees you up for higher-wage contracting/consulting/entrepreneurship.
Certainly don't get a house now. What if you need to move to another city for a job? You are obviously living below your means. That is a goddamn superpower in today's economy, which relies on people being under the guillotine constantly.
If your wife makes you feel more uncomfortable about your collective economic security rather than provides a backstop, then, well, that's why wives are the #1 enemy of feminism. You and your wife should have a willingness to face good times and bad with a collective desire to work and be secure.
Since you haven't lost your job yet, the time to get on this is now, to discuss possible uncertain economics with her to set expectations.
Anyway; for me, owning a house removed all the (unfounded) money worries I had while renting.
Best solution I can think of is to try to form a union, so you have some ability to fight back if and when someone lays you off, fires you, harasses you, etc.
That said, both the process of forming a union, and then trying to exist post-union, can get you fired or effectively fired. Companies, e.g. Tesla, will just close down entire factories to escape labor laws, etc. Of course, in IT, it's much easier to outsource jobs. Other companies will just shut down to kill a union, and sometimes re-form once the union is dead. This is all in America, which is a very anti-labor country.
But always have 12 months cash in the bank. That doesn't have to be 12 months of luxury, but 12 months of survival.
Shortened: minimise risks through security and skill hedging.
Something that can potentially help you (it helps me, alot!) is to do liquidity planning as if you're a business. I use a Google sheet to track monthly spend, and income, as well as yearly stuff such as insurance premiums, mortgage payments and taxes. Add your liquidity (bank account in your case) and see how far it goes.
Doesn't have to be super precise (it can't be), but it should give you a rough idea of how long you have. And in your case, as you are on very solid financial footing, it might calm you down a little.
For me personally, it gives me a feeling of being in control, if only a little, of the uncontrollable.
Live outside the bay area.
Stop to smell the flowers. Seriously. It will help you focus on something other than money. Then plant some flowers. Pass it on!
Spend some of your bankroll on your wife learning monied skills! Seriously, she's a second income while you're together and a reason you don't pay alimony if she's skilled and you break up.
Your feeling is from being selfish. Give some. Figure out who deserves it. They'll look out for you, too, if you choose right. Be more social!
> ...How do I shake this feeling?...
Sounds like you could consider meditation. You need to be able to state the scenario that you're worried about to be able to deal with it.
Prepare well for those interviews, and know that if you make it to even 1 place in 10 that you interview (or 20 - whatever it might be), then you have options in case something happens.
You don’t need to actually take any of the jobs. Just create the sense of an abundance of options.
A lot of tech companies out there don't have a real business plan and it's going to be hell for them.
I have worked as a programmer for forty years, through ups and downs, layoffs, recessions. And raised three kids. You roll with it, keep your skills sharp, stay in contact with colleagues, don't burn bridges. Plenty of work always available in the tech industry, paying far more than most people make. Avoid companies that don't make a profit or have narcissists and sociopaths in charge.
Unless you plan ahead and live well below your means, the volatility of what attracts so many new people into this industry will never afford you a relaxed moment, particularly when they do everything possible to keep you spun up.
Every day spent with the kids is worth 10 years of being a wage slave imho
Invest your money, save your money, live frugally in the meantime.
Alternatively winning the lotto would work too
Technology Sectors have for the most part given up on a reasonable standard division of labor and are now actively seeking to automate jobs away. Rather than augment existing labor many are simply replacing labor with AI without understanding the caveats. They will pay for that mistake, but when you have a coordinated effort to do that finding alternatives will be rough so its a perfect time to start a company (if you know how, and can overcome that barrier to entry).
Inevitably the first jobs to go are the more expensive mid-tier jobs. The second are the low end.
So there are many reasons you should be very concerned. Not owning a house will set you back on building financial wealth because those tax breaks are not open to you, and the housing market has been inflated beyond what anyone should pay. There will be a crash in the housing market, now is not a good time to buy.
A lot depends on what you mean by upskilling, certificates are not that great at upskilling.
What's worse, all the money you had is worth significantly less today than previously. In the last 2 years you've lost roughly 1/5th of your buying power in saved income, and this is expected to continue into the near future.
Hyper-inflation is one of the worst taxes the government can impose, counterparty currency and banking risk have never been higher, especially now that we no longer have fractional banking (look at the reserve requirements the fed imposes on banks since 2020, 0% now) but you also can't just put everything into a solid commodity like gold/silver because the spot price is heavily suppressed and you can't easily exchange it without taking a loss on taxes from maintaining your purchasing power/stock.
In a hyper-inflation environment, the only thing you can do is to invest in assets that will maintain their value for sale, or are goods you will use yourself. Your costs from goods will continue to rise with inflation, this includes rent, so growing food/properly canning/etc will allow you greater financial flexibility.
For mental health, its important to step away from the echo chambers during these times. Focus on what's important, practice meditation (stilling your thoughts), and other destressors. Stop giving the 150% you may be doing and limit it to %100 when you are on-the-clock.
I am afraid of being poor anytime and never want to have kids. I never buy Elon Musks populate earth nonsense who did fire people in so indecent manner.
Corporate robot execs are programmed to exploit that trap/insecurity. They will use it every review to extract as much they can and throw you out when required. They have no other moves cause if they dont do it some other corporate robot will, and take their jobs.