1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order; 2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room; 3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
1. my sitting at home with you; 2. my going out or travelling with you.
C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way; 2. you will stop talking to me if I request it; 3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior."
http://www.openculture.com/2013/12/albert-einstein-imposes-o... and I try and be nicer.
Also we're talking about 100 years ago in Berlin. It's a bit perilous to judge their relationship by our modern standards. I would say things have changed vastly for the better. I shudder to think how people in 100 years would view my lifestyle.
OK, found it https://raffertysrules.blog/2011/04/18/donts-for-husbands-do...
Extract, make of it what you will:
Advice for Wives
Don’t interpret too literally the ‘obey’ of the Marriage Service. Your husband has no right to control your individuality.
Don’t let your husband feel that you are a ‘dear little woman’, but no good intellectually. If you find yourself getting stale, wake up your brain.
Don’t keep your sweetest smiles and your best manners for outsiders; let your husband come first.
Don’t grumble because his idea of work differs from yours. If he works hard at anything, let him do it his own way, and be satisfied.
Don’t refuse to see your husband’s jokes. They may be pretty poor ones, but it won’t hurt you to smile at them.
Don’t allow yourself to get into the habit of dressing carelessly when there is ‘only’ your husband to see you. Depend upon it he has no use for faded tea-gowns and badly dressed hair, and he abhors the sight of curling pins as much as other men do. He is a man after all, and if his wife does not take the trouble to charm him, there are plenty of other women who will. [Ouch!]
Advice for Husbands
Don’t refuse to get up and investigate in the night if your wife hears an unusual noise, or fancies she smells fire or escaping gas. She will be afraid of shaming you by getting up herself, and will lie awake working herself into a fever. This may be illogical, but it’s true.
Don’t be surprised, or annoyed, or disappointed, to find, after treating your wife for years as a feather-brain, that you have made her one, and that she fails to rise to the occasion when you need her help.
Don’t belittle your wife before visitors. You may think it a joke to speak of her little foibles, but she will not easily forgive you.
Don’t refuse your wife’s overtures when next you meet if you have unfortunately had a bit of a breeze. Remember it costs her something to make them, and if you weren’t a bit of a pig, you would save her the embarrassment by making them yourself.
Don’t chide your wife in public, whatever you may feel it necessary to do in private. She will not easily forgive you for having witnesses to her discomfiture.
Don’t call your wife a coward because she is afraid of a spider. Probably in a case of real danger she would prove to be quite as brave as you.
Edit: the "it was different time" is popular retort, but it rarely takes into account actual customs and realities of the time back. People just tend to assume that whatever someone else criticizes was unopposed standard back at the time, because it would feel good and was convenient. Societies back at time were as complicated as ours, often had strong standards of behavior - which just like in ours was often not followed in practice or lead to problems.
They were not "just like us except worst". Case in point, even if intra-family violence was way more common, both against kids (I don't mean light spanking I mean actual sever abuse) and women, it was criticized and seen as wrong too (and as such meant to be in-family secret).
Einstein may have been smart, but he was a really awful person.
There's a difference between 'hero worship' and 'hero inspiration', IMO. The difficult part is getting rid of the former while not destroying the latter in the process.
As the pretend hero, Malcolm Reynolds, said "It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of a son of a bitch or another."
