I think there is a fine line between the two. When you look at upper-class society, you realize that giving your child everything can cause them to become spoiled without any perspective of the value of a dollar. If the money should dry up, they'll likely hit the ground hard. On the other end of the spectrum, you start to tip-toe into the, "I had to work 12 hour days. Why can't you do it?" territory.

The balance comes when showing them that food doesn't magically appear on the table while still acknowledging that life can still kick you in the rear in spite of you doing everything right. It's telling them that it's time for them to make their own way, but it's also putting out the crash mat when they're free falling.

I think there is a clear balance that can be struck with saying "This is what I have created and I share it with you out of love" and "What I created is yours by virtue of being my child". I think the results he seeks can be achieved without wandering into "tough love" realms. In fact, I assume he means it more in that sense.

My children have thanked me for giving them that strength and individualism. For allowing them to not having it all handed to them. I practiced similar to the parent and my relationship with my children is rock solid.