undefined | Better HN

0 pointsKurtz7911y ago0 comments

It's sad there are people for which having an invisible boyfriend/girlfriend is an appealing idea (which is the entire premise of the service), regardless if it's the case with the writer of the article.

"On its Web site, Invisible Boyfriend calls itself “believable social proof”: When your mom won’t stop asking you when you’re going to settle down, or your weird male acquaintance keeps hitting on you, you can just whip out your phone and show them evidence that you’re not an unlovable loser, thank you very much. Homann says the service has also seen a surge in interest from people in conservative countries, particularly in South America and Europe, where the stigmas against being single or LGBT remain pretty strong."

I find the whole premise depressing.

Be proud of what you are or, if you are unhappy with your situation, take meaningful action to address the problem.

0 comments

Spearchucker11y ago

It's also sad that people are saddened by others not like them. The world would be a lot nicer if we accepted, instead of being saddened.

philh11y ago

I may be projecting, but I don't interpret Kurtz as saying it's sad that people want an invisible boyfriend. More that it's sad that people feel pressured to have some sort of boyfriend, and get an invisible one to relieve that.

If someone genuinely thinks "actually, an invisible boyfriend would be better than a real one for me", then great, more power to them. But if someone's getting an invisible boyfriend because they can't get a real one, or because their parents are pressuring them, or because they don't want to come out as a lesbian. It's good that invisible boyfriends exist for these people¹, but it's sad that they need to exist.

¹This is debatable in the long run and the big picture. But here and now, it removes a little pain from the world.

Kurtz79OP11y ago

"Being sad" means exactly that, and does not imply having disdain, disrespect or not accepting someone.

I'm just saying that whatever problems these persons have with their lives, I cannot see how this service can be of help in any way.

If anything, the problem is with society and social pressure: by conforming to it, and not fight it, you'll end up exacerbating the cause of the problem.

aidenn011y ago

Yes, it will absolutely help the individual while doing nothing to solve the problem (and arguably perpetuating it).

I had a teacher in high-school who was black, and in the first integrated class at a formerly all white school. He said his parents made him do it, he hated it, and he got less of an education than had he been at an all black school because of the controversy surrounding the situation.

Clearly, while it's a good thing in the long-run that the schools were integrated, there is a price to pay for those who take part in the transition.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse