EDIT: I edited my reply to clarify some points just as you responded. I have now addressed your first question, and your second question is based on a misunderstanding due to poor wording on my part.
EDIT EDIT, because I seem to have triggered HN's flamewar detector and it's not letting me post anymore:
>I've been ignoring this premise for the sake of argument, but now it's time to raise an objection: Men aren't harder on other men. Both men and women are harder on women.
Yes, I do believe men are harder on men than on women in the grand scheme of life, even if I concede that men can be harder on women in business and the workplace. Men are significantly more likely to be victims of violence from men than women are, whether in public life or in war. Far more men than women are incarcerated in the United States, where they are subject to worse treatment at the hands of guards and other prisoners alike than women are. A woman being raped is a tragedy, a man being raped is a literally a joke, a timeless staple of "edgy" comedians. Fathers expect significantly more from their sons than their daughters. A young woman living with her parents after college is natural; a young man is ridiculed. Men with problems are often not taken seriously by their peers; instead of lending an understanding ear, they're told to simply "man up" and bear it. Their problems are certainly not taken seriously by the media, which claims that their problems are insignificant compared to those faced by women and that they need to "check their privilege." Perhaps it should not be surprising that men are more likely to commit suicide than women.
Some of those ideas, especially one about the expectations of fathers for a man's success, hint at another element of sexism: the patronizing way that men can expect less of women. If you agree that this element exists and sucks, then you are conceding that men are more critical of men than women. I'm not trying to sound like a "men's rights activist" or anything, but it boggles the mind how people can believe or disbelieve the same fact depending on when it suits their argument.
>>dssacco
>I have to disagree however. Most insults that men give other men attack their masculinity, which is implicitly sexist.
That's a great point historically, but in my experience it hasn't been true for a while, and the majority of middle-class men wouldn't tell a man to "stop acting like a woman" these days. When a man is told to "be a man," the subtext is not "because you're acting feminine," but rather "because you're acting childish," or perhaps "because men are not allowed to express weakness." You can choose to interpret this as "all men are sexist because they're holding men to a higher standard here," or you can interpret as "men are not allowed to do something natural that is extremely important for mental health." Yet you don't hear anyone complaining about "interalized misandry," people always manage to reframe everything negative about the male experience as a matter of misogyny. As if we aren't allowed to have our own problems unless they involve women.
Edit: I've been ignoring this premise for the sake of argument, but now it's time to raise an objection: Men aren't harder on other men. Both men and women are harder on women. This article itself demonstrates this. (It's more complex than just "being harder on." But, in the context of this article I take "being harder/easier on" to be short for "tending to respond negatively/positively to verbal contributions, regardless of the contribution's merit.")
I have to disagree however. Most insults that men direct to other men attack their masculinity, which is implicitly sexist. When men put other men down by likening them to females or female behavior, they are putting down both men and women, but under this model I'd have to say females appear to suffer more, if only because a man can (and is encouraged) to change his behavior to align with masculine values. A woman cannot do this (or cannot easily do this) because she is ultimately perceived as female regardless of her behavior.
You can argue that men are more openly critical of other men than women, but under the model I explained above, men are overwhelmingly more critical of other women, which really gets down to another core issue - men conflating sexism with open, explicit criticism ("it's okay for me to do this with guys but not girls") and ignoring the vast underbelly that is subconscious, unexpressed (but no less acted upon) sexism.
I'm open to arguments refuting this, but this seems to be about the size of it - ultimately, many men innately regard females to be lesser to the extent that they use femininity as an insult.
And if you would sound like one, would that be bad in any way? Really, what's the problem with that word? Caring for Men's rights is bad?
Look up Karen Straughan on Youtube. She's an MRA and very intelligent woman. She raises many good points in the current, toxic debate.
