It is true that you will spend proportionally more on housing here. It is also most likely true that your total savings will be higher here. EG, you could save 50K$/year in the valley whereas you could only save 20k$ a year working in Iowa. The 20K is much larger compared to the cost of living, but you will be better off when you retire if you squirreled away the 50K$. If you want to move to Iowa at that point, all the better, you can now afford a palace. This assumes you can incur the cost of moving and can stay employed.

Were you looking at google & co or a startup? Usually your bonus & stock compensation is around %40 of your total compensation. Startup stock is non-liquid, and therefore unusable.