Half-serious: http://hackage.haskell.org/package/tardis-0.3.0.0/docs/Contr...
>probabilistic programming
https://hackage.haskell.org/package/probability
There are a number of articles about writing your own probability monad in Haskell. It's not hard.
Could you provide some links? In a quick search I can only find one article, and that's just about using that package, writing one.