But this just means that the problem needs to be solved carefully; what you've done is state the problem. Look at any textbook on numerical analysis, such as Numerical Recipes, or even something more basic. It will explain how to implement adaptive time-stepping for numerical solution of ODEs.
Here the parameter is not for time-stepping, it's for ignoring nodes in an octree, but you can still mathematically pick a parameter that generates something like a desired level of accuracy, instead of having to specify the parameter itself.
> The reason this class of simulation is numeric is because all but the the most trivial orbital simulations must be performed numerically. The reason for that, in turn, is because of the Three-Body Problem:
You make all of this sound like it's a difficult problem. For a basic ODE solver, adaptive time-stepping is one of the most standard techniques. Most introductory numerical analysis courses in universities cover this, so usually the reason people implement it this way is that they simply haven't heard about it, and don't know that they can look it up in a textbook.