This offer is only available for you alone and in person. Are you interested? Because I'd really like to know how your pedantic definition of "free" works out for you when it's obvious that things that require infrastructure (such as online communications, or traveling to a different country)... require infrastructure.
(TLDR: If you don't find it amazing that with a very small indirect investment we can actually communicate with people anywhere in the world for free, you and I need to have a long chat about being spoiled.)