Ah, that's because that was the only place I've had much experience with Java and Scala. We wanted to use Elasticsearch (Java) from our CMS (Java), and the recommended way to do that (at the time: embedding ES in your application as a search-only node) turned out to be infeasible, due to ES and the CMS (which was started in 2006ish) being unwilling to share any specific JDK without a lot of code changes to the CMS. We ended up building a system involving RabbitMQ and a thousand lines of PHP, as the easiest solution. :(
So, yeah, I recognize that a lot of my bad feelings about JVM languages are not particularly relevant to green-field development, whether in Java or Scala. I just got ranty. Sorry.