My stepdad died of cancer in April 2013.
My mother-in-law died of cancer in August 2013 (we had gotten married exactly one week prior so she could be there)
It's not the same experience, nothing can be. But I felt what you describe. Empty. Numb, but distraught at the same time. Happy that they were at peace and horrible that I felt that way.
New things fill up some of the void, but there are still days where I want to curl up in a ball and just stop for awhile.
You've been emotionally wounded. You'll heal. There will be scar tissue, and it will take a long time, but eventually there will be days where all you think about is the good memories and not the bad.
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