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Enlightening debates don't come about when everyone mutes their politically incorrect emotions and speaks in platitudes, they come about when people respect each other and can speak simple truths as they would to their peers. Evidence is always useful, but rational argument is equally important.
Plenty of people use the Internet's cloak of anonymity to say things that are inconsiderate. I use this simple test to determine if they would stand behind their remarks if accountability were in play and anonymity were not a factor.
I think it's well understood that "fuck you" is considered an offensive term in the context of a disagreement between two strangers. My morning commute has illustrated this point on a few occasions. :)
This isn't 'real life'. This is text-based communication.
There are plenty of ways to say politically incorrect things without being rude. One thing I like about HN (as opposed to reddit) is the information density -- it's higher because jokes and snark are frowned upon.