who I am (my identity) is for all sensible purposes a construct of
other people.
the real me sits behind my eyes. lets ignore that for current purposes.
my identity then is what other people chose to use to distinguish me from the other seven billion on the planet. mostly we used faces, and became real good at recognising them. then we moved to using names because there were so many of us.
but it is still notable that who I am (Paul) is really just a shorthand for other people's convenience. if I was the only human on the planet I would have no use for a name but everything about me otherwise would still be unchanged
in short who I am is my "identity" and that is just an assertion to help you tell me from the guy next door. Who I am is my name (if you are on the telephone) or my face if we are in the pub, or my DNA if you are in CSI. none of those things are to do with the quale of being Paul - but they are useful for other people.
make sense?
I'm saying that don't call into the trap of thinking that if there was some way to determine who I am really, the we could get rid of passwords. who I am really is a quale in my head and no use to anyone else - so instead we find ways to distinguish bags of meat and call it identity