But ultimately I can't; I don't need pretty colors or graphical tricks. I do need something which understands that it's not 1975 anymore. My mail no longer lives in a local spool file, and there is no longer a local sendmail. I have multiple email addresses, which use IMAP, and remote SMTP.
And none of the console clients -- including Mutt -- can really do that. Every couple years I try Mutt again, and try whatever the current crop of attempted successors are, and get thrown right back into 1975 again and give up in frustration.
(and Mutt, last I checked, actually considers it both a feature and a point of philosophical purity/pride to refuse to acknowledge the fact that anything other than "shell out to local sendmail" exists. Also, IMAP was unbearably slow, usually requiring a full re-fetch/re-index of the entire remote inbox, potentially hundreds of thousands of messages, every time Mutt started up, and multiple IMAP accounts were an unholy mess)