numpy is quite portable, I am not sure what you mean by not nearly portable enough.
The reason why you can't do pip install numpy is pip's fault, there is nothing that numpy can do to make that work. Note that easy_install numpy does work on windows (without the need for a C compiler).
the problems I have had with numpy are endless. Usually I'll just prefer to write my own, because it's quicker. if you have tried to get numpy running on a cloud machine you'll know what I'm talking about. basically you will have to know how to compile from source, know some gcc, etc. the last time I tried to get it running I promised myself never to use numpy again.
I suggest you try again. I think the situation has changed. I have been using Numpy/Scipy for a few years now, with all the negative experience of having to sort out whether to use g77 or gfortran and the right gcc flags etc. The most recent version, Numpy 1.7.0, is the first one that installed for me smoothly on Windows and OS X (official packages). YMMV, but I think it is alright now.
I'm back at work, and have had a chance to verify; it turns out that you were correct. I was confused by my bad memories of trying to install SciPy into a virtualenv.
