I've found it's much more effective to just email someone you're interested in connecting with, introduce yourself, and invite them meet up sometime for a coffee (or beer, depending on the time of day).
If they say yes, it's because they are also interested in what you're doing, and this acts as a quality filter to ensure you're both moderately aligned in your interests and not wasting each other's time. Plus, the one-on-one setting lends itself to more interesting and personal conversations, which tends to have the friend-building effect the original author appeals to.
Networking doesn't come naturally to most people, but being friendly and personable usually does. I find that combining the two removes some of the awkwardness, and makes your efforts that much more effective.
Treatings: www.treatin.gs
We think there's something special about dating sites as compared to, say, Facebook or LinkedIn: everyone who has signed up has implicitly opted in to the possibility of being contacted by strangers to possibly meet up offline (though they aren't guaranteeing anything). Knowing that people have opted in like this makes most people more comfortable reaching out to strangers.
I'm based in Portland, ME but am often in NYC. I presume there is no simple way to use the site yet for me?
I got burned out with the 'tech event' echo chamber a couple years ago and haven't looked back.
I've done exactly what the parent suggests: I find people I'd love to connect with and email them with an idea. My emails, while not a formula go something like this:
- Tell them how I heard about them - Mention something I know about them that I appreciate - Ask them for help on [subject I'd love their feedback on] - Ask if they'd be up for a coffee
The "trick" behind these emails? Be 100% genuine. I have something I want to talk to them about and I'm convinced we'll have a fruitful conversation.
You don't always need to give something back, at least right away, but you'll often discover where you can contribute through natural conversation. Eventually, you'll be the receiver of the same type of email I mentioned above.
Thinking about the missives I've sent, I'd say 8/10 result in a coffee meeting, and a worthwhile connection made.
In my version of 'meetup golf' you basically go play golf, meet people who enjoy golf while doing so, ask them what they do for work, and 1/2 the time they are in tech or some form of tech (YMMV depending on where you live & play golf). At the end of the round you shake their hand and say "It was nice meeting you. Hey, listen, if you ever want to play golf in the future or need anything at all feel free to contact me" -- hand them your business card, 9 times out of 10 they will connect on linkedin or shoot an email thereafter.
You now have more in common with them than just your profession, you also share a hobby. Also consider there is a 19th hole in golf. This is a far better way to meet, befriend, and build a network that holds some weight.
Disclaimer: Never played either just heard positive things about both.
Edit: U.S. cities (no idea about elsewhere)
Hiking works great too, and there are lots of great hiking routes along the purissima hills in the SF Peninsula.
In any industry there are those individuals who seem to "know everyone," have been next to many industry-shifting moments one way or another, have worked at a half-dozen of the most important companies, etc etc. It's clear that a large part of their time is spent networking (after all, it's a hard job), and a large part of their value is as a connector. As an added bonus, because they're a connector and value having lots of connections, they should be open to the idea of getting to know you and forming another connection.
Why not just make connections with 6,7,8 of those people and then be done? You'd be one hop away to almost everyone in your industry with far less effort than actually getting to know everyone in your industry. Anyway, just theorizing at a more efficient way of networking. Agreed on the article's premises that a real network is with people you know as human beings.
In retrospect, i had a weird childhood.
I like the way you explain it - but basically, just, "go make friends" is the advice, right? In case you're interested in the writings of someone with a similar point of view, I wrote a similar post, slightly rantier, a year or so ago: http://danielhough.co.uk/blog/human-business-card-jar/
Yeah, I think my basic message is to be a little more human in your dealings at networking events. In that way, I think we're both talking about the same thing. I'm embarrassed to admit that before I knew any better, I could have been Percy in your story. Thanks for the good read.
We've all been there - I'm still learning, too, and I definitely learned something from your words!
To me this takes all of the fun and excitement out of networking, not to mention the clarity. When I network with people face-to-face, I always get a sense of how they may want to work with me in the future. E.g. Maybe they're a designer; I'm a programmer; we could collaborate on X kind of project.
LinkedIn's placeholder text makes connections seem generic and less useful. Today I received five networking requests, but, unlike with real-life networking, I have no clear idea of why the people are reaching out to me.
This has reminded me that networking is primarily a peer group thing, and otherwise it's, well, marketing
So, coffee mornings I guess
