Alright, this was surprisingly amusing. Thanks.
>1995 - Brendan Eich reads up on every mistake ever made in designing a programming language, invents a few more, and creates LiveScript. Later, in an effort to cash in on the popularity of Java the language is renamed JavaScript. Later stil, in an effort to cash in on the popularity of skin diseases the language is renamed ECMAScript.
1958 - John McCarthy and Paul Graham invent LISP.
1983 - Bjarne Stroustrup bolts everything he's ever heard of onto C to create C++. The resulting language is so complex that programs must be sent to the future to be compiled by the Skynet artificial intelligence.
I genuinely laughed out loud at this article.
1986 - Inspired by Prolog, Joe Armstrong designs a massively scalable messaging system that allows computers to SMS each other and has the attention span of a teenager. He calls it Erlang.
[1] I suspect a large part of this like is due to the old trick of throwing in a reference only a subgroup of the readership will appreciate, thus forming a special bond with the author.
This sounds vaguely familiar.
And if anyone is wondering (as I was) how many programming languages there are, http://people.ku.edu/~nkinners/LangList/Extras/langlist.htm has information on about 2500 languages.
Neither was there! Bizarre...
"1986 - Brad Cox and Tom Love create Objective-C, announcing "this language has all the memory safety of C combined with all the blazing speed of Smalltalk." Modern historians suspect the two were dyslexic."
