"Tell me how exactly at that point, an exhausted, stressed, emotional person is supposed to just have a moment of self realisation and go "oh wait, what I'm doing is destructive, is actually making the situation worse, and I should JUST STOP". (Which by the way is what I've heard many people tell alcoholics who don't understand the disease)."

This thread's probably dead, but I wanted to add a few more cents, here...

I hear what you're saying, and I have my own business, so trust me -- I understand much of what you describe. Please don't automatically assume I know nothing about this.

At one point, I was an exhausted, stressed, and emotional person. And I had a moment self-realization and I said "stop." I thought deeply about how I worked and why and begin to make changes to create a more sustainable work-life balance. It took some effort, but I enacted most of those changes. Although it's an ongoing process.

I have never been an alcoholic, but I have been close to alcoholics. What they went through is nothing at all like what I went through. Once I made my decision, I had the power to enact change. My understanding is that managing alcoholism is a very hard process that pretty much requires community and accountability to work.

Now, I don't dismiss at all people getting together, talking, and helping one another out. I didn't do anything like "Startups Anonymous," but I did find that I was able to reach out to people I knew and find some help.

What I get frustrated by, though, is a much more subtle tone that I hear when founders and entrepreneurs talk about their problems. It's a little hard to describe, exactly, and I don't want to be either dismissive of rude. But. I feel like I hear too much pained moaning about a loss of friends, relationship difficulties, and loss of pleasures like taking vacations that don't require packing a laptop. Things like that. This bothers me because I actually think that just taking a deep breath and going, "You know what, I've simply got to stop what I'm working on for a day and just go do something else, something different -- just for a day (hour/evening/weekend)" is totally possible, no matter how myopically stressed you may be. In fact, I've found that when I most stressed, taking these breaks and enjoying life -- in the middle of the stressful period -- helps me keep the stresses in context, helps me not let them invade my every neuron and eat my brain out from the inside. It frees my mind to actually think about the stressful thing without falling into a dark hole.

So what I'm saying is, don't blame your company, your co-founders, your investors, your employees, or your customers for these problems. You. Are. In. Control. Act like it. It's not a pity party. Nobody who relies on you wants you to be a friendless basket-case. And suffering isn't a requirement for creating something great.