I guess what I'm looking for is just general consulting, with people who are smart and know what they're doing. Maybe what I'm looking for is comrades, fellow hackers, or a consulting service. I live in the Bay Area, so you'd think I'd be neighbors with these people.
Any of you out there: if you know of IRC channels, forums, or anything like that where people help each other with this sort of thing, let me know, I want to be part of it. I could totally help people with the kinds of problems I've been through. My wife suggested I talk to HN about the problem I was having, and I had to explain to her that this isn't that kind of community-- we talk about articles and issues, not specific problems usually. If any of you know about a community or consulting service like that or have ideas and suggestions, I'd love to hear about it.