I'll probably get flack for this, but have you considered seeing someone about the social anxiety? If you feel like it's limiting your career options, it might be worth seeing a counsellor just to discuss some strategies you can use. I know us developers can get hung up on independent research and solving our own problems, but some problems can be worked out a lot easier with another person, rather than googling.
HN gives a weird perspective on what employers expect of developers. I know lots of places where devs aren't expected to be social/growth hacking hustlers who have met the president, etc. Most places just want competent developers, and they're willing to accomodate a lot of the typical geek social anxiety.
All this to say, I know it's a scary prospect, but you can change your situation if you try. Whether that's getting some interviews, or seeing someone about your anxiety. Feel free to email me if you want to talk.
