Tactful Trademark Defense: An Example (opens in new tab)

From experience, the other guys just go dark on you. I got a threat of libel from the companies attorney in response to my initial cease and desist. I rebutted the claim with them, but never heard back. After talking to about 10 attorneys, the estimate for fighting it in court is about $80K. Another option is to file for invalidation with the USPTO, which can be done without an attorney. Here's the whole story if you are interested: http://www.geekceo.com/entry/zoto-trademark

"but what happens"

The fear here (which isn't really detailed in the post because the OP has some experience in this area) is always going to be that you will say the wrong thing and somehow disadvantage yourself. If the respondent goes along and is willing to cooperate that won't happen. But if they don't there may be some nuggets in whatever you say that will come back to haunt you (just like talking to the police w/o an attorney might).

I'm not a lawyer, but I think you're just back at square one — or perhaps a little ahead, given the good will involved. Of course, you've lost a little time, too.

You can file as 1b intent to use. Or simply design a logo as used in printed stationery (or on a website page) and submit that. We've done both and have been successful in getting trademarks approved.

It varies from country to country.

Trademarks can be a bet-the-business problem. Best to see a trademark lawyer. Shop around, there are lots. I prefer small law firms as you have a better chance of getting personal attention from a principal.

Lawyers are an essential component of society.

However the law is, as my favourite legal blogger says, "a broadsword, not a scalpel".