I agree with you - I don't think Stripe has made the right choices here and its unfortunate that it has inspired so many other people to make the same poor choices. I don't agree that their system is as sound as always returning 409s. I think having a short window where you return response bodies is fine, but after that they should still be sending 409s. If no one will ever actually resend a request after 24 hours how is it not fine to send 409s when they do? They've chosen to implement the more expensive choice and then not back it with the cheapest one.
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