> mathematics only exists in a living community of mathematicians that spreads understanding and breaths life into ideas both old and new. The real satisfaction from mathematics is in learning from others and sharing with others. All of us have clear understanding of a few things and murky concepts of many more. There is no way to run out of ideas in need of clarification.
Yes! And this applies to all human culture, not just math. Everything people have figured out needs to be in living form to carried on. The more people the better. If math, or any product of human skill, is only recorded in papers or videos, that isn't the same as having millions of people understanding it in their own ways.
Modern culture often emphasizes innovation and fails to value mere maintenance, tradition, and upkeep. This can lead to people like the OP feeling that they have nothing to contribute, when actually, just learning math, being able to do it, being able to help others learn it - all of these are contributions.
We are all needed to keep civilization afloat, in ways we cannot anticipate. We all need to pursue some kind of excellence just to keep human culture alive.