That’s hilarious and it’s not even April 1 anymore.
Lots of serious financial businesses still use FTP or use SFTP running some unbelievably bad server implementation on a Windows machine somewhere that uses such outdated cryptography that it doesn’t even interoperate with modern OpenSSH. Operations do not necessarily score highly on the ACID scale. It’s tied together with duct tape and baling wire.
On the other hand, the system works and is really remarkably resilient to various failure modes. You would be hard pressed to cause more than severe annoyance by compromising these crappy old systems.