In truth, the bereaved will surely be angry at the bombs dropped by party X, but at the same time understand the impatience of party X towards government Y that oppressed both you and your dead family.

There is much more room for regret: regret of not openly supporting saner voices, regret of taking what seemed to be the least personally risky path, until the final conclusion proved otherwise...

Allowing your government to rot to the core and pretending citizens do not carry any responsibility is what leads to things like Nazi germany, Iran, etc...