The subsystems aren't just alternative FizzBuzz implementations. The blockchain records FizzBuzz evaluations in a cryptographically linked ledger. The Paxos consensus reaches distributed agreement on whether 15 is FizzBuzz. The compliance framework creates a genuine regulatory paradox: GDPR demands deletion of records that SOX requires to be immutable and the blockchain can't remove. The on-call rotation formula (epoch_hours // 168) % 1 has returned "Bob McFizzington" for every rotation since 1970.
Different joke, same target.