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0 pointsgarciasn3d ago0 comments

I am arguably a successful employee in a tech-focused role. I enjoy my job and others seem to feel I'm good at what I do.

That said: I am NOT at all interested in identifying myself in social situations by my job. When someone asks what I do, I respond that I work in tech. I am not interested in giving more details nor talking in-depth about what I do to others I have just met.

Why? Because that's not at all what makes me...me. I am far more interested in what I do outside of work (reading...a lot, listening to music, spending as much time w/my family as possible, traveling, spending time at my lake home, etc). That is what I work to do; enjoy my life.

I realize this is an uncommon opinion, but I find it SO VERY ODD that folks are OBSESSED about their jobs and make it a central point of their existence to those outside of their specific industry. I do NOT care what someone does for their day-to-day; it's unlikely it will have any impact on me or my friendship with them. I want to know what they bring to the table in our current or potential social situation and the fact that they make PowerPoint presentations for whomever to look at, ask a few questions answered in the presentation's appendix, and never think about again doesn't do anything to further any of that.

0 comments

marconey3d ago

Well said, thanks

I’d much rather know and learn about someone’s passion for woodworking, hill walking, flower arranging, whatever they enjoy doing in their free time, rather than having to talk about their (or my!) work.

chrisweekly3d ago

Yeah! IMHO "What are you into / what do you care about or do for fun?" should replace "What do you do? [ie, what's your profession / where do you work]" as the default ice-breaker. More interesting, less reductive or competitive.

KellyCriterion3d ago

So you are saying that your job does not have any impact on your personality, despite you are there for 8+h a day? The environment you are in for hours (even if its great, you are forced) does not shapre who you are?

And regarding social interactions: Its no difference for you interacting with people from your mind-liked crowd in opposion to someone who runs a gun-shop-chain? For sure, a constructed example, but Id say there is for sure some difference when acting with the different groups?

Arainach3d ago

> So you are saying that your job does not have any impact on your personality, despite you are there for 8+h a day

(Not OP) It's not a core part of it, no. I'm a person who likes solving problems and has an attention to detail. If I see that something is wrong I have a desire to fix it regardless of it's my responsibility or not. This could be finding an outdated piece of documentation at work or finding a piece of litter on the street.

These traits make me an effective software engineer (up to the senior level, then I have to fight against those parts of my personality and focus on specific high-impact things if I want to succeed at Staff+), but they are a part of who I am totally independent from my career.

Software engineering is a field that I am good at and that pays exceptionally well, but I could be happy utilizing these traits in any number of careers. Were I financially independent, my dream career would probably be something closer to the people who design and build elaborate contraptions for stage shows such as Cirque du Soleil.

jazz9k3d ago

Do you have any friends? Your job is a good topic that allows you to find something in common with another person.

galleywest2003d ago

I prefer to ask people what they do for fun when looking for something in common, as opposed to what they do for work.

Some people are recently laid off, and asking what they do for work might sting a bit.

tdeck3d ago

I like asking both, but these days a lot of the "what do you do for fun" answers are just consumption hobbies (e.g. I watch X show on Netflix) that people use to switch off after a long day of work. It's easier to think of interesting follow up questions about someone's work than about these kinds of hobbies. Even if (especially if) the work is something completely different from what I'm doing.

9rx2d ago

> I prefer to ask people what they do for fun when looking for something in common, as opposed to what they do for work.

Hasn't the question always implied to be about what you do for fun? It has never occurred to me that should answer "I wash the dishes".

fcarraldo3d ago

Not if they work outside of tech…

Tor33d ago

As the sister comment said: "Not if they work outside of tech…" And not even then, in many cases. I know exactly what I do, but having to explain that to anyone, including people in tech, is difficult.

And, you know, it's not interesting to talk about. Talking about that is fine at the job, that's what we do. I have no interest in talking about that when I'm not working. Instead I want to talk about other things. Hobbies, activities, music, books, whatever. Enquring about someone's job will not lead to that at all.

manmal3d ago

It sounds like you have a privileged life, and a hard time getting into the shoes of people who don’t.

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loglog3d ago

Traveling? Lake home? I am glad to go to work just to not listen to my wife how we are so poor and cannot have nice things.

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