Well, many would have done it the other way - had fun with the cookie and called the SIL a bitch :-)

I think the cost of having to say something humiliating is at least equal to the cost of the cookie, so I want it for free. Of course I had fun with my sister in law, even if I rolled my eyes at the business. That's beside the point. Making you say this stuff is a tiny, petty act of domination. Say it or you don't get the cookie, or you look unfun. Anyway, it's the same argument people have been having forever about not wanting to say 'grande' at Starbucks. A war we won. And we will win this one.

with all due respect - just because your friends occasionally want to go someplace with questionable names doesn't mean they aren't good friends.

I'm not going to ditch the friends who let me sleep on their couch for weeks at a time during periods when I was homeless and jobless just because they occasionally want me to accompany them to a stupid restaurant.

I don’t really think that’s a proportionate solution to a minor annoyance. So far the advice I’ve gotten has been:

- restructure my relationships

- say something psychotic like “let’s go to a different neighborhood so I don’t have to say two words for dessert”

But you are all misreading this as a cry for help or advice. It is a bit. I even say the goddamn fucking words! I just think they’re cringey and I was commenting on my distaste for that feeling. I don’t have a cellarful of champagne either. I have bad news about the Easter bunny.

“You sound like a whiner”. Get a sense of humor maybe? Or failing that at least display the self composure and grace I so lack and pound sand.