When it came time to actually have the conversation at one point he stopped me (I was busy trying to soften the blow) and said, "This sucks, but I get it. I understand." And I realized that I had prepared him for that point for months and that what was coming wasn't ultimately that much of a surprise.
Since then I've resolved to just be straight with feedback. For most firing situations, it's simply because it's not a good fit. Being able to look forward to a better situation in a couple months is enough to make most people accept the decision.
He kept it very, very short- the rationale being that if someone is expecting it, then they know the reasons why. If they aren't expecting it, then the shock means they're unlikely to listen to anything else you tell them anyway.
If they want feedback at a later point, great. But in that moment, it's easier on both of you to just get it done.
It really framed my thinking for management in general and this post is fantastic for shoring up the rest of it.
Sadly, the nice CEOs I've had were failures building companies.
From my observation, the quality that defines a CEO is that they are oblivious to their own faults and the feelings of others.
They are like bad dancers with confidence. They have no idea they look like an idiot or that they're making you uncomfortable, and if they did, they wouldn't care.
I think it's more than CEOs have to be able to upset people to get the result they want. It also helps if that result is beneficial to themselves or the company.
Oh man, that'd mean I'd make a great CEO if I could learn to stop caring! All these years, trying to figure out how not to look awkward -- wasted!
Why would it have a negative effect? Even when you realize people are just being polite, most people still appreciate it, no?
When using the shit sandwich on a senior report, you are implicitly stating that you don't believe they can handle direct criticism.
I wouldn't use it period, unless you know for certain the specific person cannot handle criticism.
Okay, I gotta know: how did that strange typo-- down/clown-- get in there? That seems like a scanning error, not typing error.
Edit: Oops, I learned a new verb. Thanks!
On a related note, I think "Birthday Song" was included at the top of the post because it tries to hide nothing. The lyrics are honest & straightforward much like how he argues feedback should be.
From (of all places) Urban Dictionary:
clown: To laugh, make fun of, or find joy in a
person or event. Almost always used in a derogatory
or degrading fashion.You may be the CEO and you may be telling somebody about something that you don’t like or disagree with, but that doesn’t mean that you’re right. Your employee should know more about her function than you. She should have more data than you. You may be wrong.
-- This is a process
The book is pretty thin and was written mid-last century but still holds it's value versus all else we have now.
In addition to providing a framework and mindset on how to become an effective executive, the book also explains why/how it's possible to have shitty people be great CEOs and vice versa - because being effective has nothing to do with personal qualities [nice, kind, mean, etc].
I recommend reading this book to anyone who would like to become a better executive or who would like to better understand the other side of truth.