Being a software engineer doesn't mean you want to spend you free time tinkering about your self-hosting setup and doing support for your users.
With Tailscale, not only you don't have to care about most things since _it just works_, but also on-boarding of casual users is straightforward.
Same goes for Plex. I want to watch movies/shows, I don't want to spend time tinkering with my setup. And Plex provides exactly that. Ditto for my family/friends that can access my library with the same simple experience as Netflix or whatever.
Meanwhile, I have a coworker who want to own/manage everything. So they don't want to use Tailscale and they dropped Plex when they forced to use the third-party login system. Now they watch less than a third than they used to be, and they share their setup with nobody since it's too complicated to do.
To each their own, but my goal is to enjoy my setup and share it with others. Tailscale and Plex give me that.
Choosing convenience is fine. But if basic port forwarding or WireGuard is beyond someone's skill set, "software engineer" is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
I am not saying they are, but if it really is the case, then yeah.
As for file sharing... I remember when non-SWEs knew how to torrent movies, used DC++ and so on. These days even SWEs have no idea how to do it. It is mind-boggling.
The way I understand it is more like "without the ease of use provided by X, even though I could have done it, I wouldn't have done it because it would require time and energy that I'm not willing to put in".
Since we're talking about self-hosting, to me the main focus is not skill set but time and energy.
There's the same debate around NAS products like Synology that are sold with a high markup, meanwhile "every SWE should be able to make their own NAS using recycled hardware".
Sure. And I did all of this: - homemade NAS setup - homemade network setup - homemade mediaplayer setup
It was fun and I learned a lot.
But I moved to some more convenient tools so that I can just use them as reliable services, and focus on other experimentations/tinkering.
To be honest, the fact that you insist that Plex is just "file sharing" that can be replaced by torrents makes me think you either don't know what Plex actually is, or you are acting in bad faith.
I could, I just choose not to and direct my interests elsewhere. Those interests can change over time too. One day someone with Tailscale can decide to explore Wireguard. Similarly, someone who runs their own mail server might decide to move to a hosted solution and do something else. That's perfectly fine.
To me, this freedom of choice in software engineering is not disheartening. It's liberating and exciting.
Nobody said do everything from scratch. The point is: basic networking (port forwarding, WireGuard) should not be beyond someone's capability as a software engineer.
"I use apt instead of compiling" is a time tradeoff. "I can't configure a VPN" is a skill gap. These are not equivalent.
If you choose convenience for whatever reasons, that is completely fine.
I'm in the middle of setting up my own homeserver. Still deciding on what/if I want to expose to the internet and not just local network and while setting everything up and tinkering is part of the fun for me. I get some people just want results that they can rely on. Tailscale, while not a perfect option, is still an option and if they're fine with the risk profile I can understand sacrificing some security for it.
Full stack is for start ups and small projects.
