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0 pointswartywhoa235mo ago0 comments

I'd been riding bikes with my friends around the block since the age of 6. Parents didn't chase us around and minded their own business instead of nanomanaging us into absolute snowflakes that modern children have become. We played tag at building sites, jumping gaps meter wide and five deep, made explosives out of match sticks, bolts and nuts, and showed up at home just to check in and have a quick lunch. We did a bunch more things many parents would deem insane these days (and even our own, should they know)...

And yet every single one of my friends managed to survive this now-impossible freedom and came into adulthood with a bunch of wonderful warm memories of our childhoods, free of any stigmas or psychological trumas.

This modern fear-based attitude towards childhood is beyond sick.

Now before anyone says "but pedophiles and terrorists" - mind you, that was 80's USSR, Chikatilo had still been at large, the gossip was there but wasn't amplified enough to put everyone into scared trance like modern mass-media does.

Literally nothing has changed in the society since then, maniacs were around just like they are now, but the attitude towards the outside world has been so blown out of proportion today, that parents are eager to outsource the upbringing to strangers in online games out of fear of strangers and dangers outside.

0 comments

deltoidmaximus5mo ago

> that parents are eager to outsource the upbringing to strangers in online games out of fear of strangers and dangers outside.

There's a lot of blame for parents, much of it deserved. But when you have CPS being called for kids playing in the woods or parents charged with manslaughter when some one else runs over their kid you realize this is now going against the grain to resist this stuff.

flyinghamster5mo ago

It just seems insane to me that this mentality has been allowed to take root. I live in an area where kids on bikes are a regular sight, any time the weather is even halfway decent. Just last year, I came across a brother and sister riding up the forest preserve bike trail with fishing poles. But the media-driven "fear, fear, fear, nothing but fear" narrative has really done a hell of a lot of harm to society.

AlexandrB5mo ago

I always wonder what happened here. I remember hearing about how CPS was chronically underfunded in the 90s and did not even have the resources to investigate every case of serious abuse. But now they have the resources to go after parents that let their 10 year olds walk 2 blocks to a park? Did we start pumping funding into CPS or something? This is like if the cops started ticketing people for jaywalking.

1 more reply

watwut5mo ago

> We played tag at building sites, jumping gaps meter wide and five deep, made explosives out of match sticks

As someone who thinks kids should have freedom, like kids in Germany or Japan have, I hate it when ridiculous arguments like these show up.

Look, if you was regularly doing all that, you probably should not have all that freedom. But, most kids are actually more reasonable, if raised right.

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

What problem with me as I am now would you solve if you had any power to prevent me from being a kid and doing pretty common things kids were doing then?

See, neither me nor any of my friends became terrorist bombers, heck, there is not even a single stuntman around us! On the contrary, that unimaginably dangerous activity in our childhood raised responsibility in us better than any supervision. We knew what we did. No amount of nannying will fix kids who lack the touch with the harsh reality, as it takes feeling some pain sometimes to be responsible and not inflict pain on others.

watwut5mo ago

> On the contrary, that unimaginably dangerous activity in our childhood raised responsibility in us better than any supervision.

I have no reason to believe that. The issue with 2 out of 3 activities you listed is also the danger or damage to OTHERS and their property. Which you do not even noticed, clocked or cared about. The only thing you care about is you feeling some pain, presumably.

pixl975mo ago

Cool, stop everyone else from being a nanny then. You pull the stuff you and I did as kids in most places now and you'll have the police and CPS show up.

robocat5mo ago

Also nothing says survivor bias as statements like:

  And yet every single one of my friends managed to survive this now-impossible freedom

It is nonsense to use your own example and imply it was safe, because you are mostly blind to the failure modes of the counterhistorical damaged or dead.

However, I agree with you. Kids raised in dangerous rural areas do learn. I had my fair share of close calls as a child in my city! I feel lucky to have had so much freedom. 30 years later I was told one guy I knew as a child was convicted of pedophilia: I still remember his awesome basement but I don't recall any bad close call with him (perhaps I was ugly : sorry sicko).

We don't notice many dangerous close calls. Hopefully we learn from from other close calls we did notice... I remember hammering a blank gun cartridge (ramset) until it exploded and thinking I shouldn't do that again. I also did a lot things with fire that I shouldn't have!

Some high risk activities are difficult to learn from. Philip K Dick writing about the dangers of the drugs he took: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29642422

PunchyHamster5mo ago

till you are with that kid that is a bit too brave and a bit too eager and they do drop in some hole and break a leg or worse. That's what parents are afraid of, they remember some "close" accident in their childhood and want to make their kids not get chance to do a mistake.

Now ideally parents would just keep an eye on them, teach the kids, and maybe even "help" in potentially dangerous-yet-fun-for-kid stuff to make it not dangerous

...but parents now don't want to spend time just like parents back then didn't wanted to spend time and let kids alone to their own devices. Only difference before parents kicked kids outside while now parents give them ipad...

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

In no way was I a neglected kid. Parents still spent a huge deal of time with me, dad taught me drawing, astronomy, English, played guitar for me, we listened to music together, played games, walked together, printed photos, rode snow slegde downhill in the winter. Me being allowed to spend time outdoors with my friends was perfectly a part of their caring, not an attempt to get rid of me.

This is in stark contrast with the way parents want their children to be near and observed, but separated with black mirrors.

Now, please don't think that I blame every modern parent out there. There are enough good parents around even today. What I talk about are the trends in general.

chickensong5mo ago

Same experience, same feelings.

Unfortunately, I don't see how kids would stick to offline experiences anymore if you just turn them loose in the neighborhood, because one of the other kids will undoubtedly have unfettered internet access, so the kids will likely just end up clustered around their computer or phone.

lawlessone5mo ago

inmyday.txt

foobarian5mo ago

> made explosives out of match sticks, bolts and nuts

I used to do similar crazy things, had this friend who liked to play a kind of a game of chicken with an M-80, see who will hold on to it the longest. He would've been 45 years old today. /s

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

My elder brother would've been 47 this year should he not die aged 2 of sudden acute disease that doctors of that day and place couldn't stop. What's your point?

dwattttt5mo ago

That "things were better in the old days, all this safety culture is pointless" overlooks the tragedies we became inured to back in those days?

I cannot count the number of times I've heard "we never bothered with that" with things like refrigerating leftovers, and its unspoken rider of "and it was fine" is never followed up with "look how foodborne illnesses are rising, or at least not dropping". Very curious.

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0 comments

deltoidmaximus5mo ago

> that parents are eager to outsource the upbringing to strangers in online games out of fear of strangers and dangers outside.

flyinghamster5mo ago

AlexandrB5mo ago

1 more reply

watwut5mo ago

> We played tag at building sites, jumping gaps meter wide and five deep, made explosives out of match sticks

As someone who thinks kids should have freedom, like kids in Germany or Japan have, I hate it when ridiculous arguments like these show up.

Look, if you was regularly doing all that, you probably should not have all that freedom. But, most kids are actually more reasonable, if raised right.

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

What problem with me as I am now would you solve if you had any power to prevent me from being a kid and doing pretty common things kids were doing then?

watwut5mo ago

> On the contrary, that unimaginably dangerous activity in our childhood raised responsibility in us better than any supervision.

pixl975mo ago

Cool, stop everyone else from being a nanny then. You pull the stuff you and I did as kids in most places now and you'll have the police and CPS show up.

robocat5mo ago

Also nothing says survivor bias as statements like:

  And yet every single one of my friends managed to survive this now-impossible freedom

It is nonsense to use your own example and imply it was safe, because you are mostly blind to the failure modes of the counterhistorical damaged or dead.

Some high risk activities are difficult to learn from. Philip K Dick writing about the dangers of the drugs he took: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29642422

PunchyHamster5mo ago

Now ideally parents would just keep an eye on them, teach the kids, and maybe even "help" in potentially dangerous-yet-fun-for-kid stuff to make it not dangerous

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

This is in stark contrast with the way parents want their children to be near and observed, but separated with black mirrors.

Now, please don't think that I blame every modern parent out there. There are enough good parents around even today. What I talk about are the trends in general.

chickensong5mo ago

Same experience, same feelings.

lawlessone5mo ago

inmyday.txt

foobarian5mo ago

> made explosives out of match sticks, bolts and nuts

I used to do similar crazy things, had this friend who liked to play a kind of a game of chicken with an M-80, see who will hold on to it the longest. He would've been 45 years old today. /s

wartywhoa23OP5mo ago

My elder brother would've been 47 this year should he not die aged 2 of sudden acute disease that doctors of that day and place couldn't stop. What's your point?

dwattttt5mo ago

That "things were better in the old days, all this safety culture is pointless" overlooks the tragedies we became inured to back in those days?

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse