Those first years were a real slog. I wanted to understand this stuff so much but it just did not click. I actually remember when it did, it was like a lightbulb going on and I went from 'this sucks, I can't hack it' to 'this is my future' overnight.
The I read a book by Niklaus Wirth and it opened my eyes to structured programming and various data structures (beyond variables and arrays). It's funny because even though I've read a mountain of books on computer programming by now that is still the one that gave me the most practical day-to-day knowledge which comes in handy every day.