I’ve written a few ORMs and you have the same performance executing a select and getting rows back and translating them into objects than you do my ORMs. It’s literally the same. Are you going to return back a Row* from your function? No. You’re going to return an object or an array. Building that from an array of rows is no different than an ORM mapping those rows for you using instructions on what field goes where.
Just like you do in your function to build an object. “Oh but it’s at compile time!” You’ll shout. So are mine. CodeGen exists. The real issue you experience is that a certain style of ORMs confuse you. Unit of work or ActiceRecord pattern style ORMs can literally be codegen’ed into your binary to make mapping as fast as new() {}.
ORMs provide you with objects and relationships. Some of them even do validation should you choose. It’s about correctness and not going Wild West on your database with no regard to schema or normalization. If you’re properly normalized, you’ll be thankful for ORMs saving you from the JOIN hell you so desperately hang on to.