> - Chrome/chromium is adware garbage now. FireFox is the only browser I use

This is actually one of the stronger arguments in favour of Android's though, you can install (real) firefox and (fully functional) ublock origin, while Apple prevents you from doing so on their non-macos products.

Pixel phones have won blind camera tests last few years without Apple coming close though.

> I back everything up to my NAS via an iCloud docker shim

As someone who refuses to pay extra for iCloud storage, can you tell me how to do this? I haven't figured out a good (read: easy) way to backup photos from my iPhone to computer/external storage (I don't want to use iTunes software cause I don't need everything syncing both ways).

I was under the impression that every browser running on iOS was just backed by WebKit - so it's basically just a firefox skin.

Try Brave on iOS. Adblock that works, and for free.