Month 1: The Dream
"Code is gatekeeping! I'll revolutionize math with pure visual programming!"
Buys 7 no-code courses, $2,400 in SaaS subscriptions
Month 2: The Workarounds
- Tried pre-built text elements (2,500 combinations, Bubble crashed)
- Attempted human-in-the-loop via Zapier + email (grandmother got tired after 50 calculations)
- Explored blockchain oracle services (gas fees: $12 per addition)
Month 3: The Bargaining
"Maybe just tiny bit of logic?"
- IF/THEN workflows (wait, that's Boolean logic)
- Mathematical operators in Bubble (wait, that's... math code)
- Excel formulas (DEFINITELY code)
Month 4: The Acceptance
Discovered that addition is... computational. Who knew?
Month 5: The Revelation
Every "visual" operation was just:
- Model (data structure)
- Update (state transformation)
- View (presentation)
The Bubble "visual workflow" was trying to be The Elm Architecture!
Month 6: The Awakening Opened a text editor. Typed in elm:
add : Int -> Int -> Int
add a b =
a + b
add = (+)
Runtime: 0.001ms
Cost: $0
Dependencies: 0
Side effects: None (guaranteed by compiler)
Bugs: Impossible (thanks Elm!)
I am no longer no-code. I am pure functional. I have discovered mathematical truth.
Posted from Elm reactor (my Bubble subscription has been cancelled)
Update: Learning that functional programming is just applied mathematics. Turns out mathematicians invented the ultimate "no-code" 300 years ago - they called it "functions". Who's gatekeeping who?
P.S.: My addition function is now proven correct by the type system. Beat that, drag-and-drop!
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