I hear you. I really do.
I like the idea of a way of verifying who you are (in that you’re a real person) and age (so you could prove ability to do 18/21+ things).
I see no reason why random companies/etc would need to know gender identity, name, etc.
None of that is relevant to buying alcohol. If they need something, e.g. name on a mortgage, then maybe it’s optionally provided, under my control. I don’t know.
I’m not seriously suggesting we do this. They were clear downsides before the last 10 years made all of them ridiculously clear.
It’s more I hate the current mess and wish something nicer existed. I think it’s fixable in the abstract. But even if we had a good idea for a better system I don’t know how we’d get there. Between sovereign citizen nuts one side who don’t think there should ever be any way to prove they ever existed, to people like you with very clear and good reasons for fearing changes it just seems impossible.