Actually, everything you complain about is highly irrelevant. It can't be overstated how irrelevant your objection is.
> (other than feeling good about those lives being saved, but that’s not the kind of utility we’re trying to maximize).
Your interpretation of this statement is that the contributors have a fixed marginal utility for every single dollar, so that they will consider the situation where they spend $1,000,000 per live saved to be superior to the situation where they spend $100,000. In other words, you're saying that welfare is a veblen good for the donor.
The author makes the argument that the mere act of spending more money to save lives is not the type of utility we should strive for to maximize social welfare.
Your utility in question is not about feeling good about saving people regardless of cost, it's about feeling good about saving people, precisely because it costs money and you personally spent money to do it.
By the way, why is that "your utility"? Why am I putting words in your mouth? Because you're disagreeing with the author and therefore necessarily put yourself at odds with the authors objection to the first interpretation. Hence you must necessarily agree with it, otherwise you're just trolling and that would be uncharitable of me to accuse you of. So, yes, you must have mistakenly chosen the silly interpretation.