Ask HN: My colleague had a tantrum over a simple question, what would you do?

1 pointsspike_protein10mo ago2 comments

Today, I asked a basic technical question and my colleague suddenly snapped—raised voice, defensive tone. It wasn’t about the topic; it felt personal.

We later had a one-on-one. He shared that he’s dealing with mental health struggles. I expressed my concern about communication, and he agreed to be more mindful.

Still, I’m curious — how do you handle emotional outbursts in teams with otherwise strong engineering culture?

2 comments

sandra_vu10mo ago

hey, not an engineer but this could happen to any teams.

If you are doing this two things, you should do well.

1. Take care of yourself first. It is easier to act the right way and manage any situation when you are mentally and physically fit.

2. Take a step back and count your breath before reacting. Always assume the other person is hungry, stressed, have family issues, anything. Do not take any thing personally. Give yourself space and address this later.

Also show an effort in your questioning that you research well and could not find the anwser.

incomingpain10mo ago

We're all human, despite what the captchas allege, and we're going to have good and bad days.

This is tech, it's almost certainly burnout. When is it not burnout?

My pov, it's usually best to ask questions and let them vent. It's not about you or them most likely.

j / k navigate · click thread line to collapse