All the things that annoy you are "intuitive" to me.
You could probably code a maximizing script in Automator in a matter of minutes and bind that thing to a keyboard shortcut if it bothers you that much. I think the fact that most people don't is a sign that maximization isn't that great an idea once you get un-used to it.
https://github.com/fikovnik/ShiftIt/issues/72#issuecomment-3727710
(You want this build, rather than the official one from its page on the git hub.)