I'll also admit it: I'm lonely and the magic of life seems to have disappeared since this over-the-top loneliness began around 2020. I too want a life full of loving people.
Also, fantastic work on that website. That's good stuff.
> Either everyone feels like this just a little bit and they’re not talking about it, or I am completely fucking alone. Which isn’t fucking funny. - Fleabag
Now there's something to make you feel even _more_ alone -- being around people.
Just waiting for life to expire at this point.
And I definitely get what you mean but try to think a lot about the song Waitin' to Die by Useful Jenkins[0] when I'm at my lowest
But a lot of others find it incredibly difficult to develop friendships, let alone intimate relationships, in this world, especially in western countries - I could list out the reasons why but this comment will become awfully long.
We should remind ourselves that we don't know everything, we don't see everything, and we should be open to viewing the world from other people's perspective. We'll learn a lot about ourselves and our place in the world that way.
I don't consider myself an incel since I know several people who would be with me if I asked but I also know "we" aren't a match so I don't go there.
I also don't really know what to do it fix this issue. I look at meetup.com and I don't really see anything I want to participate in. A large portion of the activities there are limited to younger people, or specific demographics of which I'm not one. The few that are left don't seem inviting or interesting.
What are other good sources of activities?
It doesn't help that I moved 4 years ago away from friends and back semi-near family at their request. The truth is I'm just not that close to them, we've all been apart for 30+ years. At the same time, my friends back where I moved from, while still there, I'm not sure are enough to get me to move back. There's more to it. I'm old and it's another country. Getting a visa to move back would be hard. Getting a job even harder. And, even if I moved back, while it would arguably be better than my current situation, it wouldn't rise to the average listed in the article.
WFH has also made things worse. These last 5 years (including one at home during COVID) have been the worst years of my life in terms of people. I've gone many months seeing around 1 person a month.
There's this post from SLC: https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-roman...
Which I found interesting in that if loneliness is a health issue, then why doesn't may insurance cover it? Why doesn't my doctor suggest solutions? I suppose this used to be where churches come in but that's no longer a thing for most people.
I felt way more anxiety and restlessness in my off hours when I was forced to be 10hrs a day in a room with 13 other people. The magnitude of the benefit WFH has given me is so wide that sometimes people I have not met in a while state I have changed and look better.
Your story is not others'.
since this problem prevents the solution of others, because there's way lower collaboration and organisation due to the persistent loneliness and all the mental health costs.
the worst part is people stuck in the blissful non lonely state just don't give a fuck, cause they got their happiness.
Some discussion then: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37960928
Been a number of more recent stories on this topic:
Surgeon General says loneliness is driving US into anxiety and pessimism https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42330341
Loneliness in Midlife: A Growing Gap Between US and Europe
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=39752487
The myth of the loneliness epidemic
