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Americans start conversations with assumptions like:
* We need space because all amenities must be privately owned at home
* You should be able to drive everywhere
* 30 minutes driving is the same as 30 minutes on transit
* Street walking & biking are unsafe hobbies, not modes of transport
* The average American city is a representative city.
It's impossible to have conversations with someone who starts from these base assumptions.
Given that cities are uniformly more desired in the rest of the world, the American city hate has to do with deliberate actions that stripped-out cities from 1950s-2000s. In other countries and cities insulated from these changes, the criticisms fall flat.